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4 Bumps

agree or disagree?

so my friend is having some discipline and manners issues with her 4 year old. she has never made her daughter say her pleases and thank yous and always given in to her every demand and now wonders why her daughter is so damn rude.

anyway, she posted on FB yesterday that she was over it, she made breakfast for her daughter who wouldn't even try a bite and made her sit there til she would. she said an hour went by and her daughter screamed and cried the whole time. but, she paid no attention to her, as to not give in to her "negative attention" pleas.

isnt she giving her negative attention by making her sit there? the fact taht she has to constantly check to see if she's eaten and noticing she hasn't, then getting upset, is negative correct? when i get into food battles with my 4 year old, i let her get up but also tell her she's not getting anything else til this is finishes or til the next mealtime.

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 4:11 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I agree. The rule with my 4 year old and always has been/ will be is Eat what I make or put in front of you or dont eat at all. He eats it. His problem is he thinks it is nasty because he has never tried it before or something but I like many other moms can not afford to cook 5 different meals a night just to please each kid because they are picky. Kids will eat when they are hungry, they will not starve themselves.
    PjsMommy06

    Answer by PjsMommy06 at 5:50 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Well whether you agree or not doesn't matter. She is that childs parent. Her way may be different than how you would do something but vice versa.

    Sounds like she has her hands full w/her daughter. Telling her she is going about it all wrong probably isn't beneficial.
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 4:17 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I agree with you....
    older

    Answer by older at 4:13 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I'm with you also
    girliemom0406

    Answer by girliemom0406 at 4:15 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • i totally agree with you i just had that situation happen she was playing i was done i got up cleared the dishes wih my husband and i look back she got down from her chair saying she not hungry .i told her good then you can wait tijj breakfast u are done for the night
    gianna530

    Answer by gianna530 at 5:23 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You're right.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 4:17 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Some parents don't have a clue. Is she a friend that you can talk to or does she think she's right all the time? Hopefully you can talk to her and get her poor daughter up from the table!!
    carol2m2

    Answer by carol2m2 at 12:16 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I go though the same thing with my niece,her 3 year old is bad,she wont listen to her parents because she know if she cry's loud enuf they will give in.I love the girl to death but it is hard to be around it.She is pregnant with another one.The one she has know kicks her screams in her face.Not to mention she hurt my little 2 year old every time we go over there.I am worried she will hurt this knew baby if they get her under control.Parents to understand if you let your kids get every thing they want you are hurting them in the long run
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 8:20 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I do not think food should ever be used as a discipline tool. If she doesn't eat fine, let her go, but don't give her junk after...make her wait til the next meal. Food is not a weapon and can lead to eating disorders when used as such. Esp in girls.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:31 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I do the same thing you do. There are things my daughter (almost 4) doesn't finish. She's told that she's not getting anything else until she eats all of the food that's put in front of her. This happens maybe twice a week. Last night, she only ate a little bit of her dinner and said she was full (she drank milk with her dinner). I told her that if she wants anything to eat before bed, she's going to finish her dinner (chili mac/velveeta & cheese). It was 40 minutes before her bed time when she finally ate all of it.

    However, she is unlike your friend's child. She will say her please's and thank you's. "May you pick me up, please?" makes me giggle.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:07 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

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