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My son is 7 and lives with his dad......he is so out of control

When he comes over to my house he is always so bad he always telling me that i hate him and i dont want nothing to do with him,that i dont love him and tells me im not his real mom that his step mom kelsey is i dont know what to do or what to say he always makes me cry i have to go in another room so he dont see me, i have tried talking to his dad but thats always a joke when i cant even talk to him i need some advice please????????????

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Asked by nitamae86 at 4:11 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (116 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Well, I don't know your circumstances, but he probably is hurt that he doesn't live with you and is lashing out. The only thing you can do is talk to him and explain why he doesn't live with you and make every second count that you are with him.

    Answer by shanlaree at 4:14 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • why did you send him away

    Answer by brittany89 at 4:14 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Do you think he's angry because he's not with you or do you think they are talking down about you to him. Those were the two thoughts that came to mind as soon as I read your post. I would guess the 2nd because I don't think at 7 years old he's going to come up with that on his own.

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 4:15 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • His dad may be telling him that kind of stuff or maybe your son just feels that way. It sounds like there needs to be some counseling for the two of you to work on the issues. If dad would be involved that would be great but if not you can only work on what happens at your house with your son. But it sounds like counseling would be a must.

    Answer by sue118 at 4:16 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I think he wants reassurance that you do love him, and that you want him. I also think he wants you to show you care by setting limits for him, with consequences if he goes past those limits. Be sure you tell him that you love him very much, and that is why you are setting these limits. And, for heaven's sake, follow-through!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 4:17 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • First off....You need to get some backbone about yourself. You can't let people run over you all the time. Especially a child?....He may not necessarily be running over you?...But, you are surely not standing your ground and showing your son boundaries and limitations. Someone once said to me that "Discipline is just as important as affection is to a child". You must show him that he can not talk to you in that manner. Yes, someone else is probably telling him this stuff and is brainwashing him into believing that you are a bad mother.

    Well, i would not put up with that for one minute. Second off, why does the father has custody?..Or, why does the child live with the father?...And, not you?....Well, either way...If i were you, Then i would get full custody of this child and put a stop to this, Once and for good!!!......You can take your son, and get what is known as "Emergency Custody"...CONT'D BELOW

    Answer by gogogirl79 at 4:19 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Which you can find out all the laws in your state for this information. Just do a search on the web for "Emergency custody in ? (whichever state your in).........And then take him away from them.....

    I don't know your entire story...But this is what.....I WOULD DO!


    Answer by gogogirl79 at 4:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I do not agree with gogogirl79 at all!!! How is that even a discipline issue? Its an issue of him not feeling loved by his mother. Theses feelings are most likely caused by someone else. That little boy is a vicitim ! Not a bad kid!

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 4:28 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I thank everone for their input me and my son are talking to someone now
    To all those that dont know my story i will explain me and my ex husband have two sons together and he has the oldest and i have the younger one we switch on weekends when the children are always together also it was a mutual agreement between us and my son who is 7 also found his papap dead when he was 4yrs old and is still in counsling and he is adhd but for someone to say that why i gave him away i didnt give him away it was either he had one or was taking both so to tell everyone that he was in the army and had all the army and lawyers on his side so please dont say that i struggle to live with it everyday i am thankfull that i am able to spend time with my son when i can every chance i get, but i will try new steps with him as we continue to talk to some one

    Comment by nitamae86 (original poster) at 4:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I agree with a pp, its about establishing firm boundaries with your child. I disagree that someone is filling his head because with my stepson, he does act differently in our house than he does at his mother's. It is, however, certainly possible. I wouldn't stop trying to talk to your ex, sounds like its fallen on deaf ears anyway. My SS lives with us and we certainly do not promote the disrespectful behavior he shows her. We cannot make him respect her when she does not demand it herself. I'm not saying you have to discipline, but you do need to establish that in your house you make the rules and numero uno is no disrespect. Good luck.

    Answer by LittleD96 at 3:29 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

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