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How can I have a Relationship with an adult child?

I have an adult child, my son, who is almost 30. He has always acted as if he hates me and I have asked him why but he cannot give me a reason. His father was a molester that eventually went to jail. I kept my son away from him but my son is angry with me, not his father, because he grew up without a dad. (He knows what his father did because his half sisters told him. I never said anything negative about his father to him.) Everything is always my fault! Not only has he cut me out of his life, he also cut off his grandparents and other family members. As a single mom, I did the best I could to provide and nurture him. (I went to college at night and worked when I could.) I am ready to give up and just stay out of his life. I figure whenever he is ready, he will make contact. But, it hurts that my only child doesn't want to have anything to do with me or my other family members. Even a reason why would be helpful. Any ideas?


Asked by ronniebee at 6:25 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (57 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Write him a letter and explain how you feel, how you felt you did the right thing, how much you care about him. Then the ball is in his court. You both could probably benefit from counseling. I hope he comes around someday.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:44 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • His father was a molester that eventually went to jail.
    You've answered your own question. This is why he's mad at you. Possibly also because his half sisters know the situation and you've never discussed it with him. Talking about someone frankly, who is a child molester, is not the same thing as discussing an ex who you could not agree with financially. I think you need to hit a therapist up-it sounds like you are more worried about how you feel, then how he feels and is dealing with the fact that his father is a disgusting pig and you never reached down and grabbed a pair and helped him through it.

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:32 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • it is time you too talk about his dad you need to clear the air ,for him and you to move on,when ever thing is okay between the two of you then you can move on to friendship with other man but your first man your son needs you now then bf

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:05 AM on Nov. 9, 2010