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2 Bumps

How to deal with my stepson's very difficult mother?

My stepson's mother is very demanding and always dropping stuff on my husband and I at the last minute. She is always very rude to me, ignoring me like I'm not there most of the time. If we ever question her or ask her to give us more notice 'next time' (which she never does) she pitches a fit and guilt trips my husband saying he's a bad father, etc. My husband doesn't like to argue and eventually caves every time. I honestly can't stand this woman, but I know that'll she'll always be around, help!

 
starboxv10

Asked by starboxv10 at 7:26 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • YOU don't deal with her. Your husband does.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Have your husband go for custody. Or TELL your husband to stand up to her, that is HIS job.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:28 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • first off it sux being the step mother, my mom was step mother to my older bro and his mom was sorta like the mother you are dealing with.... remember that she may be miserable because your husband isnt with her anymore. no matter what people say or how they act, when a marriage fails or 2 parents separate, both parties are hurt. she may be taking is out on the 2 of ya'll for that reason. remind her that ya'll may have your own plans and when she feels like "dumping" ur stepson on ya'll tell her that she should have called first and you are not able take him. im sure just once will teach her a lesson. there is no reason for her to act like that but ppl do and they have to realize the planet doesnt revolve around them and their schedule...
    jtaylor87

    Answer by jtaylor87 at 7:35 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Well your stepson is a teenager and maybe he can help you with this situation. When he talks to his biological mother he can ask the questions in general conversation and see what comes out of it all without making it sound like it's coming from you.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 7:35 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Girl im in the same position as you.. im not sure why all mothers cant let things go for the sake of their child.. but i guess some just cant! Just try to be nice as much as you can.. but when she gets in the way and thinks she runs things if your husband has a problem standing up to her, ask him if he cares if you handle it. Maybe enough times with you involved she will shut up because she wont want to sound like a crazy woman! My hubby had a hard time not doing whatever the mother of his daughter said because in his eyes.. thats his child and he is doing everything he can to take care of her whenever she needs him.. it took him awhile to realize how much advantage the mother was taking of him.. and not being appriciative... small things such as saying "we" are busy right now.. or "we" will be there to pick him up or yes "we" can watch him then.. got mine to settle a lot. all she hears is WE as in hubby and i in his answers
    mohme2three

    Answer by mohme2three at 7:46 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • and she has calmed down a lot probably because its like a slap in the face. as long as he lets her do what SHE wants and take control.. it will just get worse! it will take a LONG time to go away eventually!!! but just remember... do whats best for the child!! and others are in your boat too girl! good luck!
    mohme2three

    Answer by mohme2three at 7:47 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Well, did you know she was like this before you married your hubby? While she shouldn't be rude, you have to understand that she didn't chose for you to be part of this situation, you did by marrying your husband. As a parent you don't always get a lot of warning I know it's not convenient for her to spring things up on your husband last min, but it may not be on purpose all the time. Maybe instead of having her have to let your husband know when things are happening, he could be more involved in his school and other activities and then he would know as soon as she knows. As you can prob tell, I am a mom and while my ex is not married, I'm sure he will be one day. I am not trying to bash you, I don't know your entire situation, just what you have put on here. I am just trying to give you another perspective on your situation based on what you have said. I wouldn't get in the middle of it, that will prob make it worse.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:32 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You and I are in the same boat. Try to be the better woman, kill her with kindness and your step son will see in the end what all the noise is about. Remember the truth always comes to light!
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 11:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • She obviously hates you for marrying her ex. This is something all women need to consider before they allow themselves to get involved with men who have children. Her selfish catty nonsense is probably one of the reasons he divorced her. So many people are in this same situation. Try everything my dear... then see if you can't "kill her with kindness." If that doesn't work, put Bosco in her tea. JK Good Luck
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 7:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • punch her in the face.
    mhaney03

    Answer by mhaney03 at 7:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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