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sex drive

I have no need or want for sex. It is starting to cause problems in our marriage. I was sexually abused as a child, not sure if that is the cause behind it. we don't really have money for counseling. We have been married 13 years and have 3 kids. Any suggestions?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Counseling would be a good idea and its not always as expensive as you may think. Everyone is different when it comes to sexual abuse - some women never have an interest in sex, some become nymphos, a lot of it has to do with the individual's psyhce as well as the extent of the abuse and age when it happened. I was sexually abused as a child by more than one person; as a toddler I was molested by a family friend (I don't remember how long it lasted or exactly how frequently it happened, I just know it happened more than a few times) and between the ages of 7 and 9 I was raped by older boys in the neighborhood (although I had no idea what rape, or sex, was at that time.) I'm happy to say I don't think it affected my future relationships with men. I've been happily married for 8 years and we have 4 kids. I was maybe a little more shy than normal when it came to sex at first but we have a healthy, active, sex life.

    Answer by anon1986East at 8:28 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I don't know if the area you live in has anything like it, but I live near a college with lots of community outreach including some cheap, like five bucks, or free counseling services. You might look into that.
    If you think childhood abuse is part of it I wonder if there are services out there for vicitims that might also offer some free therapy to help out. Beyond those options I don't have much to suggest to you but perhaps talking to yoru family doctor and seeing if tehre's some sort of medication that can help.
    Or fake it. Set a really nice romantic dinner, get something sexy send the kids to grandma and grandpas and hope that setting the mood at least allows you to fake it so even if it's not all you want the lack of intamcy doesn't drive him away.

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 8:23 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Sorry you have to go through this. If things would be easy in life, like black and white ... I'd say let's switch partner. My hubby won't bother you with sex ... It's a sad thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2010