Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Why are we still together??

He comes over on the weekends to see our two year old and me, and it seems like within a few hours of his visit, he's making excuses to go home. It's freaking annoying me. I'd appreciate a little help from his while he's here (getting up early to make her breakfast so I can sleep in, offering to watch her so I can get out of the house, etc), but he mostly just sleeps and gets on the internet. He loves us both, but I'm getting frustrated with these "fly by night" visits. We've been together for eight years, and sometimes I feel like we're both in a rut. He doesn't want to get married. I'm not ready to move in with him because I'm the type of person that needs a lot of personal space. Where is this relationship going?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • It's time for y'all to piss or get off the pot.
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 9:37 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You aren't ready to move in...let alone get married...after EIGHT years? You have a child now & your are worried about "personal space"? If you cant share your space w/ him I think it sounds kinda doomed IMO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like to me it's going nowhere. Talk to him about it.
    Serenity_Angel

    Answer by Serenity_Angel at 9:28 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Have you two sat down and talked about where this is going??

    Have you told him how you feel?? Ask him to keep the LO while you run to the store. He's not babysitting; it's his also. Ask him to plan on making breakfast the next time he comes over. Why can't you go to him?? Put him on his "own turf" where he's responsible.

    Sit him down and talk!!
    clctalking

    Answer by clctalking at 9:28 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You aren't ready to move in...let alone get married...after EIGHT years? You have a child now & your are worried about "personal space"? If you cant share your space w/ him I think it sounds kinda doomed IMO

    I'd have to agree. after 8 years? you'd think you'd be ready to make some "adult" decisions about where your life is headed, whether together or not.

    talk to him about it.
    -mrs.mamma-

    Answer by -mrs.mamma- at 9:32 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • It does sound like you guys are even together. It is time to get married, move in or move on.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Well he doesn't wanna get married and you don't wanna live with him so it sounds like you are headed no where.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:37 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • neither one of you want to to be in a serious relationship so why does it matter?
    coolblue289

    Answer by coolblue289 at 9:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • If both of you are young, maybe you both feel a little cheated with a child in the picture - I had my first child at 17. I'm now 30. Sometimes that can push you with someone for the benefit of the child only and not because you have good chemistry in your personal relationship. You should carry on with your life as if you are moving on without him. If he wants more, he will definitely let you know, as he will feel suddenly left behind and threatened by someone else sweeping you off your feet and losing his chance... Maybe that is what you already want yourself and feel guilty because you are his child's mother. Either way, talk to him and ask him if he is happy with how things are, but it sounds like he feels pressure to committ, hence the moving in but not marrying. Been there done that...now married and not exactly happy larks all the time...
    msbcpdh

    Answer by msbcpdh at 9:50 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Have you two sat down and talked about where this is going??

    Have you told him how you feel?? Ask him to keep the LO while you run to the store. He's not babysitting; it's his also. Ask him to plan on making breakfast the next time he comes over. Why can't you go to him?? Put him on his "own turf" where he's responsible.

    Sit him down and talk!!






    I've tried talking to him, but he just keeps saying that he's not ready for marriage. If he's not ready for marriage, then why would he be ready to live with me (which is his desire)?

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN