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9 Bumps

How would you handle this?

I moved in with my grandma 6 months ago. She is sick and all, and I agreed to help her with the housework. All before I discovered that my daughter has a brain tumor. I am trying to focus on my daughter, but my grandma is refusing. She complains about more money going out than coming in, but yet she won't let me get a job and I never ask her for anything. She even went so far as to tell me to cancel my daughter's neurologist appointment! I'm at my wit's end with it. She bad mouths me and says I'm selfish and have no sympathy for anyone but myself. I do EVERYTHING I can to help her...I run all her errands, I clean EVERYTHING. I have taken her house apart, cleaned it and put it back together again. but it's not good enough and I am contemplating moving out. What would you do in this situation?

Answer Question
 
Serenity_Angel

Asked by Serenity_Angel at 9:27 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (189 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • Where else do you have to go? You cannot let her affect the health of your daughter. Is she suffering from dimentia?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:30 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • i wouild move out my kids come first...take care of ur baby first she needs u more.
    sandi_361

    Answer by sandi_361 at 9:30 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • You have to ask? Move out! If you can't make it financially talk to human services and ask them what programs are available for you. You have to put your daughter first. Your her mother and she needs you. Your grandmother can get some home health care and they can do what she needs.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:32 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I would look at getting some kind of part time care for her or finding a place of your own near by. Im not sure what your financial situation is but your daughter has a serious medical needs right now.
    coolblue289

    Answer by coolblue289 at 9:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I can stay with my sister. And get a job. And save for my own place. She has cirrhosis of the liver and falls a lot.
    Serenity_Angel

    Comment by Serenity_Angel (original poster) at 9:35 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I know she is your grandmother, but your child is sick and needs you. I would worry more about her. I'm not sure how serious the tumor is, can surgery be done? If you let your grandmother keep you from trying to save her and she doesn't make it. You will never forgive yourself. Your in my prayers.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 9:39 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • We don't know if surgery can be done yet. That's what the neurologist appointment is for.
    Serenity_Angel

    Comment by Serenity_Angel (original poster) at 9:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Honestly, with the stress going on with your daughter, if you can move in with your sister than I would do it. It's wonderful that you were able to help grandma for awhile, but your dd comes first now and she shouldn't make you feel bad about it.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 9:57 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I am so sorry you are in that situation. How awful to feel pulled in 2 directions like that. Honestly I agree with the other ladies. Your daughter comes first. You have an obligation to your child to get her the help and treatment she needs. If you can stay with your sister, I think you should. Maybe talk to grandma about an assisted living situation or another family member moving in to help her. You really need to focus on your child and your own well being. Stress is very bad for you and will wear you down quickly. You don't have the luxury of fading right now. You are having to fight for your little girl..fighting with family is simply out of the question. Save your strength for that baby who needs you. Praying for your daughter's health and grandmothers understanding and health as well.

    Tzutchka

    Answer by Tzutchka at 10:10 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • If you can stay with your sister, then I say move out. Your daughter needs to be your focus right now. If your sister is close enough then you can help your grandmother out occasionally if you feel the need to. I hope everything turns out ok for your daughter. Hugs to you.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:10 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

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