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When does a father no longer have a right to a child?

I know the answer legally but what is your opinion? My dd"s father told me to have an abortion when I got preg and if I didn't don't expect anything from him. In the first 2 years he only saw he a couple times and paid no child support. He took me to court for visits when she was 2 cause his mom wanted her. For 6 months he saw her 2x a week (total should have been 9 hours) but he was always late picking her up and dropped her off early. She cried everytime she went overthere. Almost 1 1/2 years ago he went into the miltary. He has come back 3 times and only wanted to see her 2 of them. He only calls 1 a month or so and didn't even call after she was in the hopstial for stomach pains that they still dont' know what they are. BUT he has time to call his mom and all his friends. My dd calls my fiance' daddy and he really is her daddy now. Does he still have the right to call himself her dad?

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Asked by JLS2388 at 11:06 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Oh, but he does use her to pick up girls. He puts picks of her on his facebook, mostly ones he had a mutual friend tag tim in from my profile since he hasn't seen her in about a year and hasn't asked me for pics, he has no recent ones. He also loves to post on his FB about how much he misses her and that he went into the miltary for her, even though I get no more child support then I did before.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:10 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Why not ask him if your fianace can legally adopt her and stop playing the games? He would be off the hook for child support and you could still let his mother see her grandchild. No matter what, he'll always be the biological father.

    Answer by DeeMomOfFour at 11:26 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I've tried, he is a mommy's boy and she wont' let him sign over rights because she is worried that if I does I won't let her see my dd anymore and in that case, there would be nothing they could do about it. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn't trust me. Plus he wouldn't be able to pick up girls with her pic if he signed over rights.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like my dd's bio dad. He was even worse because when he did have her he did drugs and was a really lousy role model. She has no respct for him (she's now 18) but I'm the one that feels bad for giving her a lousy dad. He thinks he's great. And the one that's hurt by dd. It sucks. The moral of the story is that in reality I should have been with a man that would have become a good dad and I just didn't. That's the worst thing I did to my dd and I'm really sorry for that choice!

    Answer by carol2m2 at 11:53 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • carol2m2...hindsight is 20/20. Don't beat yourself up over that butthole. You can have as many regrets as you want, but when it comes down to it.....without that lack of future knowledge, you wouldn't have your daughter now.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 1:07 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • that would apply to mother's as well, btw. Just sayin'

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:16 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • When signs away his rights.

    Answer by older at 7:25 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • He obviously doesn't want to be in her life.....I would let his mom see her, would be hard to be a grandma and because your child is being an ass, to be deprived of a relationship with your grand child....Would that be possible for you? Not knowing your situation, there is no way for me to know....but was wondering....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 7:50 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Well I have a hard time getting along with his mom. She hides my dd to her friends and some family, she doesnt want them to know that her son had a baby not married. Seeing her is all about show to her and my dd doesn't like her at all.

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 9:33 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • If he has no desire to be there for her, for her activities, on the phone if he is away, and financially supportive, I dont think they should have a role in their life at all. Its all or nothing for me, either you WILL be there for her or you WON'T. None of this a little here, and a little there (unless they cannot physically do anthing about it). Your DD deserves to have a man in her life that will always be there for her, whether it is her bio dad or not. IMO, the more he goes in and out of her life, the more it is hurting her.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:19 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

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