Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

How do you forgive an unfaithful spouse?

He had an affair while at a 3 month correctional accademy with another cadet. He says he loves me and wants to stay and make things work. I have 3 kids so I don't want to rush into a rash decision but I am having a hard time forgiving! I have alot of anger that he could go do his thing and then come home and go on with life as if nothing happened! What do you think?

Answer Question
 
Bohlander5

Asked by Bohlander5 at 11:38 PM on Nov. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Pray. You will find comfort there.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 11:39 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I wouldn't be able to forgive it. That's a dealbreaker in my book.
    If you want it to work though, maybe you two should go to counseling together.
    EverydayMomma

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 11:41 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • I'm not someone who can forgive cheating. I've tried in the past, and I couldn't trust him, we ended up fighting all the time, and ultimately ended our relationship.
    I'm SO sorry to hear that this has happened. Listen to your gut on this one. "For the kids" is not a reason to stay together if that's what you decide. You need to figure out if you can look at him without seeing betrayal every time. If you can get past it and trust him if he has to be away like that again, then so be it. Good luck, mama!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:41 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • When you figure it out, let me know. DH cheated on me four years ago, finally told me a few months ago, and I just can't seem to get over it. We have 2 children and are not in a financial position for divorce right now, but I don't see any other option for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • dealbreaker!
    you dont forgive! thats the ultimate wrong doing & once a cheater, always a cheater!
    theres still someone out there for you who will respect and love you even though you have 3 children with him.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:43 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • To the person who is married to DH... I hear you and I feel your pain! I have tried counceling but it only made me even madder because the therapist kept avoiding the issue and trying to go back to the past and start there but I just wanted to get answers! My moto has always been and still is if you want to sleep with other people then get devorced FIRST!
    Bohlander5

    Comment by Bohlander5 (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • For better and worse... good times and in bad...
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 11:49 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • My advice to people who have been cheated on is don't ever lower yourself to their level to get even! It will only make you feel worse and I told my husband he needs to think past his self! DONT BE SELFISH!
    Bohlander5

    Comment by Bohlander5 (original poster) at 11:51 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • Ladies teach your boys from a young age to respect wemon and that it is NOT ok to look at girls with lust! Then they will grow up to be good men!
    Bohlander5

    Comment by Bohlander5 (original poster) at 11:52 PM on Nov. 8, 2010

  • that would be a dealbreaker for me but if you really want to save the marraige i would suggest counceling for both of you. If he doesn't want to go then theres your answer right there.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 12:00 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN