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3 Bumps

Don't beat me up... adult content

ladies. I'm asking this question so I can talk myself out of it. My husband cheated, no correction, had a relationship with a women from 07-10/09 that makes me look like Miss America. It is impossible to get it out of my head. You cannot forget and forgiving actually means "swallow your pride and dignity and tell the bastard it's okay that you didn't care about me and having unprotected sex and putting my life in danger is more than fine." So my questions is (and I'm actually asking so that you can give me more minuses than positives) there is a man that is showing a lot, I mean a lot of interest in me...why shouldn't I do this?

 
ShouldHaveLeft

Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 10:12 AM on Nov. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Okay, so he was with a woman who had no looks, so it was emotional for him. He was having unprotected sex....has he been tested, have you? So, why should you do what....Cheat or leave?

    If you feel cheating is wrong, then cheating is wrong even if you do it as revenge, even it you can convince yourself that you're justified.
    If you're looking to leave, then why leave for another man and not for yourself? Why put another man as more important than yourself?

    If you cheat, you will understand why he did what he's done. And if you can forgive yourself, you can forgive him. Do you want to forgive him or hate him but not yourself?

    What he's done isn't okay. Sounds like you could use some counselling to help deal with this no matter which way you go.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:05 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Because you're married. File for divorce, then start a new relationship. You're a better person than your husband, and even though he does not deserve your respect you should give it to him.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 10:14 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Because you love your children more than you hate your husband.

    He has already been a bad example. Don't stoop to his level. Your kids are learning from what they see.

    File for divorce. Go out on a date.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:18 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Number one reason is You have to live this life for you! No one else! IF that is how you want to live your life then live it if you are bothered by it MOVE ON! Some of my best times of my life was when I was singel! I love my family now but I sure did have fun! I also loved being able to find me all by my self ME! I to had a relationship where the BOY would go out and cheat so of course I was a bit sad at first but I had to move forward! And now look back and am very happy I moved on! Good Luck in YOUR life choices!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 10:19 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Yeah..just because he did doesn't make it ok for you to do it. If you really want to pursue the new man, get rid of the old one. Don't stoop to his level just because you are still pissed. You either want to forgive and work it out or you don't. There is no I cheat, you cheat...it's all good. Pick a man and stick with it. It was wrong for your guy to cheat, but, it's really wrong for you to just go do whatever knowing you supposedly got over it.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:19 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • you sound like you have some pretty negitive feeling about what he did
    do you want to feel that way about yourself?

    if you do want he did, then you will feel those bad feelings about him and yourself

    enjoy the attention the other man is giving, if you want to give back..then finish one relationship before starting another
    work on your marriage OR end it

    but overlapping is not good for you, will not help your new relationship, and will make you feel crappy=blaming your husband, yourself and the new guy
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:29 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Not to bash, the saying '2 wrongs don't make a right' come to mind. If things are not working out with your husband and you like the guy who is showing interest in you, then my advice would be to end things with your husband. Then once you are divorced start a relationship with the new guy. If you think there is a chance for your marriage, then I would simply tell the new guy "I'm flattered by your attention, but nothing is going to come of it as I am married", then concentrate on your marriage.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:23 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Don't lower yourself to his level. If you can't forgive him and move on, then file for a divorce before starting something new. It's not fair to your children to do otherwise.

    If you want your marriage to work, forget the other guy, and get counseling, and work on your marriage.

    If you no longer love your husband, and really mean the things you said....it's time to get out whether there's another guy or not.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:24 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Because you are married. If you cheat then you will be no better than him. Is that what you want?
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 10:42 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Because you have your kids that you have to set example for.I would just leave him,if you stay you wont be happy.It will all ways be in the back of your mind,is he doing it again?I couldn't live like that.I wouldn't be like him though,you are respecting your self and your kids,by getting the divorce first. Good luck
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 10:39 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

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