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Cheating or not.... (long)

This story is about my best friend. She's been married for 9 years. A couple of years ago, her husband left her. He was cheating. Anyway, they worked things out...had a baby and seemed happy. Well, we went to dinner at their house a couple of weeks ago. They invited their cute, good boobed, single, fun neighbor over too. They are good friends with her. Anway, we were all a little tipsy and my husband told me that he thought our friend....we'll call him Jake was flirting with the neighbor....Jill. So, the next time we all went over for dinner I kinda watched them. At one point it was just Jake, Jill, and me. I swear I heard them whispering stuff, but wasn't sure. continued below

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Nov. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I got sick to my stomach and wanted to go home. Well my husband kinda calmed me down, and Jill ended up inviting a guy over. That convinced my hubby that nothing was going on. Now, a couple of weeks go by and my friend and the baby go on vacation with her parents. Jake "can't" get off work...so he's home alone for a week. hum.... My friend comes back from vacation and I ask her how she's doing....I haven't mentioned any of this to her b/c I have no proof. She starts crying and says her marriage is pretty much over. That she's the only one fighting for it, and he's pretty much given up. She tells me this at a birthday party. She also tells me that he said he's not cheating, and she believes him....but, she told me that instead of going with his family to this birthday party, he was at the movies with Jill's son. Anyone else get the feeling that she's in denial? What do you think?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • huge denial... my DH left me and we got back together, when he left i finally got to the point were i was dating again... and i think all she needs to do is try to get through all the trouble ahead... make sure ur cell is charged and near u at all times i know i needed a couple good friends for the 1st couple of months to help me get trough things... and dont tell her not to love him or say bad stuff about him it doesnt help... i never wanted real advise i just wanted to her its ok and that my family and friends supported my decicion... and I have prepared my self finacialy and emotionally for this to possibly happen again!!
    navywifemomkoch

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 8:41 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Someone needs to talk to Jill. Even if he will lie about it she probably won't especially if she thinks he might leave your friend for her. However, in all fairness, their marriage might be over because it's just not working and not over Jill or any other woman. Your h could talk with him. Guys feel comfy talking to other guys. He could just tell him that "rumor has it that..." and see what his reaction is. If it's true then he needs to have balls enough to step up to the plate and tell his w the truth.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:32 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • She isn't in denial. She knows he isn't up for the marriage. Maybe she hasn't taken it all in but she is getting there. Listen and be supportive. Ask her what you can do to help. Maybe she needs someone to watch the baby so she can confront Jake. I wouldnt' add fuel to the fire by sharing your observations. What good will it do? Encourage her to do what is best for her, to find out the truth, to talk to Jake and come up with a final solution. I would do nothing other than be her friend. That's what she needs now.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 12:06 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • He is 1. cheating already with this Jill or 2. On the slippery slope and planning to go off of it and cheat with her! She is in denial. Married men don't just up and leave without a safety net (Jill)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

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