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2 Bumps

Am I wrong for denying him?

Most nights my husband goes to bed before me, and by the time I crawl in he has taken over the whole bed and I have to push him over to make room for me, and he gets all grouchy, rolls over to the farthest side, almost like I'm an inconvenience to be in our bed, and goes right back to sleep. Then in the morning he tries to get all sweet with me and I know what his intentions are, but I deny him because just a few hours earlier he acted like he didn't even want me in bed and it's not exactly a turn on when he's only sweet when he wants some. So am I wrong for telling him no when he does this? We usually don't ever get any other alone time throughout the day to do it then either so pretty much he's not getting any. But I just don't like the way he approaches it.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Nov. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • To the original poster (and anyone that gave my earlier comment the thumbs down, if he tries to get sex after being snappy with you (tired or not, that is no excuse), then he is only thinking about his own desires and not about whether you want it too. Sex should be a mutual desire and not one sided.

    Answer by Creating78 at 11:35 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • He's asleep when you push him over. I'm grouchy when that happens too. Sounds like a damn silly reason to hold out sex.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:27 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I would be grouchy if someone woke me up from my sleep too. I wouldn't deny my husband sex for something he did while half asleep. Sounds like you are simply looking for an excuse to not have sex. I feel for your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Yes, you are wrong to deny him. You should never ever use sex as a weapon. What you should do is talk to him during the day to tell him how you feel.

    Answer by gramsmom at 11:27 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • sort of a tricky issue i was going to say no but if you dont get any other time with him maybe.. i say give him some than hell at him..

    Answer by mommyny6 at 11:28 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • He is being ridiculously selfish, and no I don't think you are wrong for denying him.

    Answer by Creating78 at 11:28 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Why not try going to bed the same time as him?

    Answer by Darla47 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I'm not "using sex as a weapon". Am I wrong to feel like I want to feel loved and held by my husband more than just when he wants it?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • He is asleep when you are making him move over....of course he's grouchy. You don't like it - get to bed earlier than he does or go to bed WHEN he does. You can deny because you aren't in the mood, but not because you are being petty.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • If you don't like the way he approaches you for sex, then think up some ways to approach yourself that you'd like. Write it down and talk to him about it. Sleepy grumps should be given a free pass. And your interpretation of this situation, is just your interpretation, not his. If you feel an inconvenience...then figure out a way to change how you feel about that. Maybe go to bed when he does.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2010