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5 Bumps

Would you put out your 19 year old son?

We owe our children love, food, shelter, education, support, encouragement, and discipline but when they no longer respect you, I think it's time to go...If they say something to your face that they wouldn't their boss...it's time to go..If they refuse to comply with simple chores...it's time to go...My life lessons is...When I have done my best and have raised them the best I can with God's help...it's time to let them go, even if you have to push. God, please direct his path...

 
motherganey5

Asked by motherganey5 at 3:06 PM on Nov. 9, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 13 (980 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I think it all depends on the issues at hand. If he is disrespectful a lot, and doesn't do what you require him to do, then I think you need to tell him he has a time frame to find another place to live. Does he go to college? Work? Is he contributing in any way? Unfortunately, this age is tough because they want to come and go as they please minus any responsibility. As adults we know otherwise. Try talking to your son. If you get nowhere then tell him he has to go.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 9:56 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • My dad gave my brother a choice. Follow the house rules or find your way out the door. It worked, He stayed home for a short time before getting married. Pray first. Then stick to the decion that is made.
    foxyldy

    Answer by foxyldy at 4:38 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • hell yes I could put out my child. My complete obligation ends when you are legally responsible for yourself. Thats not to say that I stop loving, that I stop helping, that I stop guiding, that I stop encouraging, etc. But if you are not respectful in my own home, then I do not have to do anything fro you. Call me harsh if you want.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 12:51 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • only if he was treating us as his servants and making no efforts to to do anything with his life. Kid's not 15 YO anymore.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 3:16 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Hell YES!!

    If an able-bodied, able-minded 19 y/o is still in his/her parent's house, s/he should be paying some form of rent. Be it through money or chores.
    MamaK88

    Answer by MamaK88 at 4:23 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Yes, I agree as well. No need for further comment, you've said it all.
    Lordgivemewizdm

    Answer by Lordgivemewizdm at 5:19 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Yep... my live-in neice left at 18...since I think she sensed her days were numbered.

    I honestly think it is better for someone that age to move out on their own or with roomates. I think that REAL LIFE forces them to not take for granted the cost of things, hard work and tough choices. I also think that living with roomates your own age is a good life experience... a parent might deal with your mess or your attitude... a peer will not. And a peer will often not sensor HOW they 'teach'.

    I had a slob of a roomate and after 100 conversations us asking her to keep her stuff clean, I am sure she was surprised to come home one day to find that one of the other roomates put all of her dirty dishes in her bathroom sink and her trash piled in bags in her room. The rest of the place was spotless were we cleaned up. I didn't help put stuff in the room, but I certainly didn't stop it either.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:38 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I could if he defied our wishes and was disrespectful of my home. At 19,he is an adult. He better start acting like one
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:09 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • hell to the yea we have kids and our job is to teach and help them be independent especially for boys teaching them to be able to take care of his family now if he does not contribute anything then you have to go i did it with my son and it made him mature so fast he see how hard it is but he is working and goin to school. i ask him to do something not talk back he does it.we have to make sure our sons can do so then we can support them when they need it cause they get away with stuff if we allow it
    gianna530

    Answer by gianna530 at 11:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I am 24, and have calmed down in my crazy ways since I was 18... But when I was acting bad, my parents threatened to kick me out, and I knew they were serious. And I knew, being 18, I needed to decide which way my life would go. I decided to follow their rules (sort of) and suck it up, for the greater good in my life. I have no resentment towards my parents, in fact, I totally understand now. I would have done the same thing to me. LOL But I definitely needed that reality check to make me see what I was doing. I was hurting them, and I love my parents.
    So I stayed, and now I am closer than ever to both of my parents.
    But my DD isnt even old enough for preschool, so I cant really say what I would do to her... I hope it never comes to that.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:03 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

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