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stepson thinks he runs house

i have a 16year old stepson,lives with us full time,his mom doesnt nothing to help not even buy him xmas stuff,but anyway,he does nothing around the house and when u ask him to tells u no and srgues with u,he is always cocky with his dad(hubby) and hubby does nothing just lets it slide he says he is tierd of fighting with him its a constant thing.

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Asked by angelairelan at 11:05 AM on Nov. 2, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 12 (675 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • but we havent had the money to just buy him whatever he wants(b4 i met hubby,he used to get whatever he wanted anytime he wanted it,now he cant cuz of bills so he went to his grandmas(inlaw) and told her i called him an ungratful basterd(for 1 i would never call anyone a basteard)and that i said i hated him(i never said any of these things)so lately iv been agnoring him and whatnot.what do u think i should do,he is gonna be with us for 5 more yers,he keeps failing school.and he only talks to my baby his sister when people r inlaws tells me they dont like me to my face,they dont ask how my babys is doing when they talk to hubby on the phone or buy her anything.

    Answer by angelairelan at 11:05 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Your husband HAS to be the one to discipline him.. He is his child not yours. I don't want to sound rude here, but thats just the way it is. IF you try to it will cause problems for you and your husband. And I think 16yrs old is a little too late to start disciplining a kid.. That should have started a LONG time ago.. That is why your husband is tired of fighting w/ him.. IF he had been disciplined at a younger age he wouldn't be "fighting" w/ him now..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 12:36 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I've been a step mom for 12 years now.The most you can be to this 16 yr old man is a friend.Your husband needs to man up and be a dad.My husband used to try really hard to be her buddy and not her parent.And it got really bad when his daughter was here.He finally decided it was time to be a parent and not a friend.but your husband will have to decide that on his own.You can't force it.
    I tried that too.I got to the point that I was going to have a happy life no matter what.And I started doing things for myself.And let her daddy deal with her.If you don't the chaos will make you go insane.

    Answer by evelynwest at 2:12 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Dad is going to have to step in and at least back you up if you try to discipline him. He will only get worse if you let him get away with this behavior and then that will take a toll on your marriage. He's being a spoiled brat and someone needs to deal with it! He's gonna start driving soon if he hasn't already. His lack of respect for you and his father is unacceptable. He will eventually start using drugs and/or alcohol and will get into trouble with the law. You have a BIG problem, that will just get BIGGER unless you do something DRASTIC to change it!


    Answer by amydh at 6:42 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

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