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3 Bumps

I am about to give up on homework! I'm almost to the point where i don't care if she does it anymore...

Every freaking day homnework involves fighting, crying, punishments. DD will not do it. When i tell her to do homwork, she'll just sit there. She'll say she's tired, or hungry. She asks me for help, but when i help her she says rudely "i know, i know, i know" well...why did you ask me for help then? When i explain to her how to do something, she doesn't listen...then tells me 5 minutes later she doesn't know how to do it. Her last problem was "how many minutes is between 2:10 & 4:50. We've been working on this problem for 1 hour. She is now in her room crying, she is being punished...again. She gets upset with me because i refuse to help her, but when i help her she will not listen to me. She refuses to use her brain, she just goes blank & won't think about it. I'm over it! I'm about to start breaking things! every day is wonderful until it's time for homework. I'm about to say screw homework alltohether!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Nov. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (22)
  • Let her take it to school unfinished and have the teacher deal out whatever punishment comes with not doing it. Hopefully there is one.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Get her evaluated for learning disabilities. You didn't give an age, but maybe she's not getting enough physical activity making it hard for her to concentrate. Try running her out to burn off some energy before doing homework. Even if its running laps around the house.

    Answer by karamille at 4:59 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Wonder if she can't verse won't....go flip and try something new and totally different.....go to a coffee shop and work together? Do verbal work while you walk side by side? give the choice of running or homework with a MM for each finished question.

    The idea is for her to think about the concepts outside of class. for the family to engage in the weekly work and for her to get ahead.

    Answer by surfcitymom at 5:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Try for a short time to let her set the "homework" rules. Tell her you are not telling her how to do the work but this is how you would do it and ask her how she thinks it should be. Let her think she is in control of this situation. Also, let her suffer the consequences if she doesn't do the homework. Possibly, contact the teacher and explain your situation and what you are trying to do and see if he/she has any suggestions.
    Good Luck

    Answer by tony1638 at 5:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • ok dont say screw it. I too have this problem. When I was her age we didn't need so much help. And the things is we just did our homework or else right? Well I had a meeting with her teacher at the beginning of the year because I didn't want to got through it again. So we had some testing done and found out she needed glasses. This has help A LOT!!!! here are some suggestions.
    let her have some down time before homework.
    make sure you have all the tools you need
    make her go to the ladies room and get her a glass of water before you sit down
    then work for 20mins and then take a break for like 10min after a while stretch out the work time and shorten the break time.
    this did work as well.
    msg me if you want to talk some more
    good luck and mommy find you patience and hold on to it. trust me i know how hard that is

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 5:01 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I really do understand how you feel! I HATE homework time. Just a few questions:

    When do you try to sit down and do homework? Is there a scheduled time? Does she have to do it as soon as she gets home?

    Does she have any older siblings that may be able to help? Another adult she admires?

    I can't help my daughter with math -- I just don't think about math the same way but my DS or DH can explain it and all of a sudden she gets it!

    I also give them an hour of free time when they get home to unwind, watch a little TV, play, get a snack. This has helped me the most.

    If she has several pages of homework, try a reward system. Put all the homework away but the one she is working on. This way she is not sitting there looking at what she feels is a HUGE stack to do. When she gets one page done take a short break/gets a sticker/etc.


    Answer by DreamGone at 5:01 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Being that she's learning time tells me she is still young.

    First of all, you're the parent, not her. YOU need to make that known RIGHT AWAY! In my house, none of my children will walk over me. EVER! I'm mom, period. My kids will sit at the table until they are FINISHED. In your situation, punishing will work, but when you let her just walk away from her homework to cry and go to her room, that's a no-no. Be firm. YOU'RE MOM, not her. You make the rules, temper-tantrums dont. I refuse to help my kids with homework unless they show they are trying and can think for themselves. If they leave notes in school, they are riding solo with homework that night. No help from mom. Your daughter is too young to be doing this with homework already. Don't give up on it, because when you do, and she makes horrible grades young, that falls back on you and your parenting "skills" or "techniques". It doesn't look good when a mom doesnt care

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 5:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I've felt that way. I feel your pain. Homework shouldn't be like that. If your daughter is having a hard time focusing she may have ADHD or some sort of learning problem that might need a different approach. If that's not the case then a different approach still might help you deal with it. If you are really at the end of your rope and you are open to trying something different check out the Love & Logic CD called "Winning the Homework Battle". I listen to that when I don't know what else to do. I hope it gets better for you. GL!


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 5:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • My 9 yr old is horrific with homework too. No crying or anything, just inability to focus. He can sit at the table and day dream for an hour and not get anything done. He already has an IEP at school, I take him to an additional reading class an hour after school 3x's week, and I actually sit and help him with home work daily. It's just really frustrating because he either doesn't understand it or he spaces out. Sometimes I just do the damn homework myself.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Tutor? Does the school have an after school program to help kids? Some of the schools have an after school homework club type of deal in the library or cafeteria

    Answer by littlestar85257 at 5:06 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

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