Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

not having as much sex....

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and this pregnancy has made me soooooo tired compared to my first one. I try to keep up with a toddler and the house etc. We haven't had sex in over a week, which is somewhat abnormal...usually we do about 2-3 times a week. Lately, I just don't feel like and I wish I wanted to. I feel bad for him because I know he wants to. He doesn't hassle me or make me feel bad, but I wish I wanted to if that makes any sense. What should I do in situations like these where I just don't want to?

Answer Question

Asked by britthoch2010 at 6:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (147 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Get used to it. Once the baby comes and you have 2 kids to care for plus getting no sleep,your sex drive will get even worse!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Trust your body. There is a time for everything. And maybe what you need in intimacy has changed. Maybe instead of sex, you need a different kind of intimacy in this moment?

    Answer by Airamana at 6:15 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Anon, I have two kids, one of whom is VERY strong willed and taxing and a baby who doesn't like to be put down. I want sex just as much as I ever did. Sometimes it takes me a little longer to get ready, but my sex drive is just fine.

    Ask your husband to take it slow, to make it a point to try to turn you on with lots of foreplay first and see if that helps, OP. I'm sorry you're so tired, pregnancy is rough, especially with a toddler!

    You can also do things to try to up your sex drive yourself. Read erotica (there are online sites for this, or you can pick up some romance novels), think about and create scenarios in your head, focus on the things about your husband that turn you on.

    Hope this helps!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 6:15 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Give your self a break. It is ok to be worn out.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 6:23 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • This Too Shall Pass. :)

    Answer by Adelicious at 7:12 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Find other ways to be intimate, you don't have to have sex to feel close (well i do LOL but we're not talking about me). Or you could please him in other ways. It sounds like he is very understanding though.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 7:37 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • Sister, I'm in the same boat with the added problem of being on pelvic rest for the forseeable future. My husband is also very understanding...maybe TOO understanding, he doesn't even approach me for "alternative" sexual acts. Yeah...that's not great for my self-esteem. I know that I complain a lot about being uncomfortable, tired, stressed out (I'm studying for a huge, life-altering exam that's in less than a week) and that's probably making him think that I'm just not up for anything at all. And we're usually so good at communicating about everything...everything BUT sex. When it comes to sex, both of us are pretty insecure and shy, this is what happens when nerds marry one another...
    Anyway, my advice at this point would be to initiate a conversation about the situation in which you express an interest in knowing what he needs from you and what you need from him and come to a good outcome based on that.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:48 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.