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i have so much resentment towards dh and i dont want to get over it....

but he thinks everything should be hunky dory everymorning he wakes up... he never helps me with the kids and goes to work and comes home and goes to bed but he still expects me to be happy.... do you ladies hold grudges? how do you get over it

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Nov. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would talk to him. I do hold grudges which isn't healthy. Thing is, staying home is A LOT of work and quite frankly, if you have half a brain, it isn't terribly satisfying and you don't get paid. I left the kids with my husband for a long weekend to drive the point home. Men need to be reminded that staying home is work.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:14 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I have learned that you will be miserable in life if you hold grudges. Just be happy that he is working and providing for you family. You have to focus on postive things rather than negative.

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:19 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I understand completely and it's VERY frustrating. Talking does no good because it falls on deaf ears - a wall would listen better. Unfortunately I have a good memory when it comes to certain things and unless they are apologized for and/or dealt with (rather than ignored) it only gets harder with time. He has the mentality of yell, scream, get it out and move on. I have the mentality of DEAL WITH IT and THEN move on. I wish I knew a solution but I just don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I hold them in even though I know it's not good. He usually asks what's wrong & I break down. I hate being like that but I'm not the type to say anything when stuff he does happens, I just let it build up. I'd try to talk to him though, let him know you need help around the house and that you want him to do more.

    Answer by Dark-N-Prego at 9:23 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I just stay angry until I'm tired of being angry then I move on. I don't like being told I should just change how I feel. I will, when I'm damn good and ready.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:26 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • yeah i did before really bad i used to hold big grudges and when ever i had a chance i would fight and bring them up but you know what i got tired of always being mad at him it was getting me no where and i was being misarable with myself and making things worse-- so one night i coundnt sleep and my husband was sleeping and i looked at him and just look at him for hours watching him sleep-- thats when i realize that i love this man and i want to make us work out --so i let the pass be the pass i talk to him and let him know how i felt about him and all this grudges i had-- he understood me perfectly -- and know we good hes being better or at least trying to be the way i want him to be-- grudges are not going to take you no where and you going to make things worse plus you never going to be happy so i think you should let all that go talk to your husband and start fresh..

    Answer by Genesis29 at 9:26 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • my hubby know when i mad is when i have baked all day ,pies cakes ,cookies ,fudge and yes i make him eat all

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 9:53 PM on Nov. 9, 2010

  • I do to but it causes problems to be much worse if u hold it in. I finally learned it.

    Answer by HaRlEiGhSmOmMa at 2:26 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Well I used to hold grudges but honestly it made me a mean bitter person. So I had to learn how to get over things. I do take a drug called Lexipro that helps too.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:30 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

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