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How To Get Over A Guy?

The father of my child is the first man I have ever been with. I was 25 when I gave the goods away so I really thought he was special. I found out he's not the man for me. Through our whole realtionship he was still seeing his ex. His goal was to get sex, which I stupidly gave to him whenhe wanted (even though I wanted it to).He doesn't even see his son but only once a week for 3 hours. Then I think about the goodtime I miss him. I really really want to get over him. It would be the best thing for me and my son. What can I do? What help you get over someone?


Asked by Jenaiko01 at 10:40 AM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,334 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I talked to my Mom. She actually would take me to work with her and give me some work to do, like bank runs or paper work. I aske dto be kept busy. I got a job eventually that put a lot of demands on me like 40-45 hours a week and just was the best employee, because when I was thinking about others; I was not thinking about how I felt. Eventually I remembered I used to feel for him, but it was just not as strong.
    I did see him after a couple years in a super market and he was married. That did not stop him from asking me to be with him. I said no, and walked away from him.
    So my advice is work through it, keep busy, don't sit around and think of him. Think of others and what you can do for them.

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 10:46 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Time. Really, that's all that helps me.

    Answer by ballewal at 10:42 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I think you have to working on accepting the fact that you will never completely be over him, because you will always have a part of him with you in the person of your son. It will also help you to remember all the good qualities that he has--those things that made you believe he was worthy of your giving yourself to him. It will also help to really study all the mistakes you made with this man, learn from them, and vow never to repeat them again. When you learn how to view the positives in even the most negative of situations(and there always are some positives), it is only then that you can move on to the next phase of your life. To do otherwise is to surely repeat those same mistakes, and that is the last thing you want to do.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:45 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Not to be contrary to the other posters, I'd stay away from other guys for a while. You're hurt and you want to stop that hurt. When that happened to me I ended up in bad relationships with guys not right for me. And it didn't help me heal or feel better about myself. I'd suggest no men for a while. Make yourself a better individual so that you can be a good part of a couple. With a man who deserves you, and won't cheat on you.

    Answer by ballewal at 10:46 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • by getting a better guy ;)

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:42 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • By dating other guys, by reminding yourself that there's someone even better for you out there

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 10:43 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Start a new life that doesn't include him. Find new things to do, go where you will meet new people, connect with other moms who have children here on CafeMom. Look for a group in your area that has play dates. Go back to school to improve your skills. Keep your mind busy with other things. In time you will heal.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 10:45 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Don't laugh :) There is something about the song "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. (I'm showing my age here) I would put that song on an blast it and I would work out. It made me feel powerful and it was easier to move on. It didn't happen over night believe me. I listen to that song so much and I was in GREAT shape. Which also help me because I felt great emotionally and physically and men really like that. Good luck, you know it's what is best for you so just focus on you not reliving the good times with your ex.

    Answer by sue118 at 10:46 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Time is your friend in this one, but may I recommend a book? it is called Breaking up without breaking down, you can go to the site with the same name only add .com to find it, you can purchase the book there, good luck.

    Answer by older at 10:47 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Time will the meantime, do not dwell on thoughts of him....everytime a thought of him comes into your head, shake your head say no, and move on to other thoughts.....keep very busy.....concentrate on your books....(not romances, though).....concentrate on making a good life for yourself.....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:48 AM on Nov. 10, 2010