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How do I mother her?

I have an 8 year old stepdaughter and I absolutely love her. I've been in her life for about 2 years now and she really looks up to me. Her own mother has issues and my SD has stated that she loves her mommy but has lost all respect for her. I feel like a goober because I don't know how to do girly daughter things! I have boys and man, they're so easy, lol. We're in the middle of a custody battle and my DH has temporary custody so we have her and SS all the time now. Which is great! But can anybody point me to some books or something?


Asked by mz_erica03 at 11:41 AM on Nov. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • "Raising Girls" by Dr. James Dobson... he also has one out called "Raising Boys... " and it is really good, and I have heard that Raising girls is just as good. "Captivating" by Staci Eldredge... it really takes a look at girls on the emotional level..."Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters" by Joann Deak, "Growing a girl" by Barbara MacKoff, and another good one to read that would benefit all of your kids is "The five love languages of Children" by Gary Smalley - Hope that helps!

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 1:25 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Think of everything your boys think the opposite LOL. Ask her what she would like to do.

    Answer by Misteh at 11:43 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I don't have girls so not alot help but its more about being there then what you do.find out what see likes. dress up nice and go have cake together make it girl date

    Answer by raisingmen at 11:43 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • With girls, it's really the little things that count. More than boys, they want to know that you are on their side no matter what and that you will support them. Have girl time and take her for ice cream and to see a movie. Every afternoon ask her how her day went and really listen. Sorry I don't have any specific books to point you to, but good luck!

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 11:47 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Thank you ladies! After I posted this I thought.... well I could just ASK her! LOL. OMG.. sometimes I drive myself nuts.

    Comment by mz_erica03 (original poster) at 11:48 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • First of all, I dont see how an 8 year old can lose respect for her mother. She doesnt actually know the meaning of that. Shes confused as to what is happening between the parents. I suggest not trying to be her mother, but her friend with authority. Take her to the movies, shopping, skating with her friends. Most mostly listen. Dont judge her or her mothers relationship. refrain from speaking ill of her mother and the situation. Remain completely nutral. She needs to know there is someone with out an opinion she can trust just to vent to. Thats how you can "mother" her.

    Answer by lacyjones at 11:50 AM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Um ok lacyjones... I never said I speak ill of her mother to her. But thanks for forming that opinion! As a matter of fact we ALL pray for her mother every night. And yes this smart 8 year old little girl has been put through enough by her mother to be able to lose respect for her and know what that means. We encourage them to pray and still love their mommy. Their mom is doing a good job of ruining her relationship with these kids without "help" from anybody else.

    Comment by mz_erica03 (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I am sorry but I think James Dobson is mentally ill.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • LOL .. thanks for your input Anon and thanks for the info momof2red. I do appreciate it!

    Comment by mz_erica03 (original poster) at 1:43 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

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