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5 Bumps

i never thought i would have to deal with this

So my step daughter (15) called me today and told me she was pregnant, she has not told her mom because shes scared of her and her mom is 9months prego. she asked me not to tell her dad but i had to. she wants to tell the babys dad but he hits her and they dont live in the same state anymore. she needs help and i dont know how to give it to her, what do i tell her and how should i help her we dont live in the same state

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (33)
  • I would push abortion. A baby now will ruin her life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • its time for a visit and a family meeting
    imuney

    Answer by imuney at 12:03 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • How does, her dad feel about the situation. I had my son at 15 and all I can say is she needs support not anger. She will get no where with everyone putting her down, and she is probably alot more scared and lost than anyone thinks.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 12:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Ask her to think about her choices and what she wants to do with the pregnancy. If she is not ready she should think about adoption. If she wants to take care of the child she should get to work. :) As far a the guy goes, I would not want her to be harmed whatsoever, she could tell the guy but do it over the phone so he cannot abuse her and make sure that she knows she has the upper hand in this situation.

    Good luck
    Andriya

    Answer by Andriya at 12:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • you've told her dad.. all you can do now is be there for her as much as you can. You're the SM, so you have to let the bioparents duke it out and decide what they want/need to do on this issue. Be supportive and let your DH know what lengths you're willing to go to to help her out. I know she lives out of state now, but if this is going to make living with her mom impossible, could she move and live with y'all? the best thing you can do is help her figure out what the best answer for HER is -- talk to her. does she want to have the baby at all? if she does, does she want to keep it? these are huge life decisions for her to be making and your support and advice might be instrumental for her...
    evilstepmother1

    Answer by evilstepmother1 at 12:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • maybe her dad can tell her mom and she should tell bf if hes in another state at least you don;t have to worry about him getting phyical
    most impotantly be there call check on her take her calls show you care
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 12:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Fist of all, her bio parnents have the right to know. Tell her that this is not something you can keep from them. That is all i know to say ritght now. I really do not want to offer anything elese because of the situation, it seems pretty sticky.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 12:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • anon.... Thats what i was thinking but how will it effect her as an adult? will she hate herself later in life?

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • wow, that is my fear with my sd and it was also my fear with my dd (21 now) That is a toughie. What does your dh say? I don't have any advice for you as this is something that I have never been through. My only thought is you said the baby's dad is/was abusive? Do you really even want him to know?
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 12:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I don't agree that it will ruin her life, I have graduated high school early, and have been in college for about 2yrs and am working toward my nursing and sonography degrees, I work and take care of my kids. It all depends on her support if no one is there for her she will fail but if she has someone to tell her good job or support her every once in a while she will be just fine.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 12:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

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