Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

is it worth it? (friendship)

So my DH is deployed and we have been at our current base since March and I have few friends. Oddly enough our friends from our last base (they're how me and DH met) came to the same city. I was really excited at first but her and I had a falling out a few years ago and our friendship is on the mend.

I just don't know if it's worth the drama to be her friend. She is so quick to tell me what i'm doing wrong and I always apologize and try to show her i'm trying. When she does something to upset me, she somehow turns it around and puts it back on me. I go out of my way to call her and text her and she basically ignores me. She always acts like she's this great friend to me b/c she listens to me complain but the only time I do is when she calls me at the wrong time and i'm going through a crisis. I have a 2 yr who is testing all of my patients while DH is gone and you think she'd ask me how i'm doing but she never calls to ask

Answer Question

Asked by Parkers_Mommy8 at 12:23 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (962 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Idk if i'm being overly sensitive but I just feel like I have to walk on egg shells for her. She is always throwing it in my face of how amazing of a friend she is to me. I just let her go on her rants b/c I know how she is and if I bring up anything she has or hasn't done I know she'll somehow turn it on me. She expects me to be concerned about her and be sensitive to what she's going through but I don't feel like she's doing the same for me

    Comment by Parkers_Mommy8 (original poster) at 12:26 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • dik

    Answer by deevega at 12:30 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't think it's worth it. I went through something similar with my best friend of 10 years when I was getting married. She knew I was stressed, and she was my maid of honor. She did not do anything at all for my wedding. One month before the wedding, after asked her SEVERAL times if she got her dress and she telling me she did, I found out she had not even ordered it yet. It's not like a was picky about the dresses or anything. I allowed my bridesmaids and maid of honor to pick out whatever dress they liked as long as it was navy blue. She then turned it on me and said it was my fauly becuase I was getting married and I apparently knew how bad she wanted it and it wasn't fair I was rubbing it in her face. It was at that point I decided it wasn't worth it and kicked her out the wedding. I'm all about trying to salvage a friendship, but it takes two, and its not going to work if she doesn't put her part in.

    Answer by Erin_Jus at 12:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Nope it doesn't sounds like it is worth it. A friend is supposed to build you up and not break you down. I would move on.

    Answer by Melbornj at 12:42 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • and for example

    when they first got here they bought a dog from a puppy store and it got pneumonia and they bought it like 2 days before my DH left for his deployment. About a week after having the puppy it was hospitalized. She called me after she took him to the vet and my son had thrown cat littler ALL over my downstairs while I was in the shower. She wrote me this message on fb saying that I was insensitive to her situation and that I had no compassion for what she was going through. And my DH had been gone for 6 days and the only time we ever talked about it was when I was having a nervous breakdown with the cat littler and she just happened to call

    Comment by Parkers_Mommy8 (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • It's up to you whether or not you want to salvage the friendship, but I certainly would not want to be in a friendship where I was constantly being chastised.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 1:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.