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Normal to flirt with potential SIL?

My daughter's bf is over the apartment all the time. I'm very fond of him, and obviously my daughter is too. Its become somewhat of a running joke with my daughter that I'm his "cougar MIL" (even though they aren't married yet), and the truth is that I really do enjoy flirting with him a lot. Even though I know he's only doing all the gropey-kissey stuff just to be funny.

This feels very kooky even though it does add a strong dose of excitement to my evenings. I don't even know what my question is, because I know this can't be normal. I guess the question is do you think its wrong to get a bit excited by daughter's bf?

Answer Question

Asked by MomJoy5 at 3:04 PM on Nov. 2, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (65)
  • IMHO that is gross! If you were my mom, I'd be pissed if you were flirting with my BF/DH/or just fiance.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Anon, I didn't say I was having intercourse with him, just that there is heavy flirting and a bit of excitement when he's over the apartment, which is often.

    Answer by MomJoy5 at 3:14 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • It is fun to joke around and be yourself but I wouldn't flirt, their is ways to be funny and have fun with one another without the flirting, IMO if I were the daughter I would simply be pissed and wouldn't want my boyfriend over there anymore. Laugh, Talk, Joke, have fun, no more kissy flirty stuff.

    Answer by Married2theBest at 3:15 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • still gross...still would be pissed. I understood what you meant. I posted my opinion like you asked for. Why are you trying to get me to change my mind? are you looking for reassurance that it's "OK" to do this???

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • what do u mean by kissy flirty stuff?? and excitment?

    Answer by xdeviouskittyxx at 3:18 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • anon - yes perhaps I am. You have a right to your opinion and I am taking your view seriously, and will consider reigning in my flirting. I'm a big enough person to grow when someone rebukes me, and I thank you for doing so.

    Answer by MomJoy5 at 3:19 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • DeviousKitty - when he comes over there is kind of a half-silly kissing and maybe a tiny bit of groping, all while we're laughing and all. It's kind of fun, and I act like I'm just playing around. But I can feel my heart race a bit when he's over and doing things like that. I would not say that I "lust" after him in any way, but he does excite me physically just because of his attitude and attention.

    Answer by MomJoy5 at 3:22 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Don't do it! My mom use to flirt with my boyfriend and I was very hurt by it. It start out as being cute and funny but it got to the point it was very hurtful. It also hurt my relationship with my mother. If you care about your daughters feelings, don't do it. She may not admit that it bothers her but deep down, it probably does bother her on some level.

    Answer by amydh at 3:25 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • How does your daughter take it? And if it was your mom (or friend) doing this to your boyfriend, how would you feel about it? Playing or not, it's got to bug her to see her mom kissing her bf, even if it was playing. Is this playing thing worth risking your relationship with your daughter?

    Answer by jenniferoakes at 4:00 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • That's gross and inappropriate and if I were your daughter, I'd lay down the law. You need to be the adult here and keep your hands to yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

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