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What would you do if one of your closest friends was doing this?

I have a friend, we both are in our mid 40's, she is single. She is always saying she doesn't want a relationship, she does the online dating and will chat with a guy once or twice and meet them for a date and usually she ends up sleeping with them. (she will only date younger men and usually much younger) We live in a neighborhood that most everyone is married she is always making fun of all us "old fogeys" and how boring we are. First I worry about her because of all the different men she will sleep with and the fact that she doesn't really know them only through the internet. Second, it has gotten to the point where you can't even have a normal conversation with her it is only about this young hot guy or that young hot guy. It is like she is obsessed. What is your take on this and what would you say to her if anything?

Answer Question
 
sue118

Asked by sue118 at 2:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,318 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Sounds to me like she's either jealous of what the "old fogies" have or she's terrified of not being young any more, or both.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 2:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I think it sounds like my sister.. who is only 33 but makes fun of me and my husband and doesn't want to get married, we are all boring she only wants fun and excitement.. she also has a 10 year old which makes us sick because she sees this too,,.,. I would cut ties..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I don't think I would say anything to her - she is doing what makes her happy, even if you don't approve. It sounds like you have different priorities in your life right now.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 2:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • It seems to me like she really does want to be like you and the rest of the neighbor, so she is overcompensating by saying how she doesn't want a relationship. It also seems like she might be going through an age crisis. I would have a heart to heart with her and see if she will reveal what is really bothering her. Otherwise, I would listen to her go on about the boys but let her know that you don't care to hear any of the racier details.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 2:10 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I would tell her if I was a boring old foey. To go find her some more friends half her age.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 2:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • If she was a friend of mine I would tell her to "Grow UP" eventually the younger men wont want to sleep with her any more and then what happens? Personally I wouldn't be friends with someone like that, can you trust her around your man?
    nowmommyof2

    Answer by nowmommyof2 at 2:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I would be really worried.....it sounds like she needs help. it could be very dangerous sleeping with a bunch of men she meets via the Internet. really bad judgement---scary! That kind of sleeping around is a bad sign.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 2:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I have a friend similar to that. Only difference is we are both younger. My opinion is, she is an adult, she is free to make her own choices and if she doesn't know any better by now there is probably no changing her. You can tell her how you feel but don't expect her to take any of your adivce because she is still going to do what she wants to do especially if she thinks your life is "boring" (although truth be told, she is probably a bit envious that you have a happy, stable family life). As for her only talking about her guys, if you still want to be her friend, just pretend to listen while you think about something else, and whenever you get the chance change the subject. It usually works for me lol. Other than that, if you really can't put up with it anymore, slowly exclude her from your life. Maybe then she'll get the picture.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 2:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • It kind of sounds like she might be going through a sort of midlife crisis. As long as she's using protection with these guys then theres not really anything to worry about. Although, calling you guys old fogeys would be kind of offensive if I were you... so maybe if you disagree with anything that should be it.

    I have a single friend that is kind of doing the same thing. She is in a different place in her life than I am and although I get concerned for her sometimes, it's not my place to judge her because I'm not in her shoes.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 2:15 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Sounds to me as though she's in denial about her age. She might be trying to stay young and refusing to grow up .. either because it scares her to admit her real stage in life, or because everyone around her has what she doesn't have. Honestly, I think this is a game to her out of insecurity and she may be flaunting the men to try and make you jealous. Due to the fact that she's actually jealous of your lifestyle. When people overexaggerate their lifestyle or play it up to be something they want everyone to believe it's because they're not happy. They want you to believe they are, so they don't have to admit it to themselves and everyone that they're not. Honestly, I'd just ask her "Are you truely happy with the lifestyle you live?" .. Not in a judgemental way, but just to see where she really sits with how she lives her life. Just try to be a friend and get behind the guys and the unattached sex.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

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