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Lutheran Pastor won't baptise our son until we get married. What the heck should I do?

We are not ready to get married yet. We have details to plan and money to save. We picked a date in 2012. I never expected this from him. I am so baffled. Not sure if I should switch churches or what. Have been going to the same one since I was 5. Just looking for some advice or guidance.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • My oldest daugher was born out of wedlock and we had no problem having her baptized. She was baptized ELCA. Other synods are more conservative. I've never heard of not baptizing the child though. Not marrying a couple living together outside of marriage yes. The Pastor is holding your son responsible for your decisions. I'd look elsewhere to have him baptized.

    Answer by sopranomommy at 1:10 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I think it must be the pastor. My sons father and I are Catholic, weren't married and the priest had no problem.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 2:28 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Switch churches. Our son was baptized in a Lutheran church before we were married. There was no problem. Sounds like it's just this particular pastor who has an issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • If you really like the church then why not wait until you get married and then baptize your son? Who says he has to be baptized as an infant? Did you ask the Pastor why he made the decision he did?

    Answer by ria7 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • If you are already living together-marriage isn't going to cost you $ lol it will actually save on taxes! There were tons of people getting married during the recession for that very reason. I realize you probably want a nice wedding and to save up, but you could do a qick wedding and redo it renew your vows with a big wedding. Dh and I had very limited funds when we got married. We weren't pregnant and didn't have kids but we had a fast wedding because he moved here and he had to have someplace top stay and we wanted desperately to be together and didn't believe in sex before marriage. So we got married quickly. We plan on having a better wedding on our 10th anniversary. Dh and dd will be ring bearer and flower girl ;-)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Either get married or find a new church. I would get married tho. IT DOESN'T TAKE LOTS OF MONEY--JUST THE FEE FOR THE MARRIAGE LICENSE, ooops,sorry about the Caps.....

    Answer by kerp1960 at 2:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Maybe he means he doesn't want to do it on Sunday morning in front of everyone, my pastor did it in a private ceremony, it was me and the baby and my parents and grandparents and the sponsors (all together like 20 people). I am a single mother of two(the fathers are gone) and the kids are is sunday school now and all that. I was baptised in that church and grew up there.

    You tell that pastor he is not much of a pastor and not much of a christian if he acts that way!! Jesus said to bring the little children to him. And a chrisitan is suppose to be nice, not judgemental and care for others, Jesus would not like that he is turning a baby away!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 2:30 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • If you are not ready to get married. you might want to find another pastor

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 8:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Find another Pastor. Someone will do it.

    Answer by mompam at 2:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Find another pastor. It is not for him to make judgements

    Answer by Conley639 at 2:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2010