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My twelve year old is so disrespectful toward me and his dad. All priviledges get taken away and still he continues the same way. What else can I do?

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glad68

Asked by glad68 at 7:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I don't know, man. I am really trying with my child too. I do not stand for disrespect. I use the soap in the mouth thing or if it's actually bad enough I will smack their mouths. It got so bad that he sat in a chair and faced the wall ALL DAY recently. Also - I am finding counseling for us all.
    gypsyjewels

    Answer by gypsyjewels at 7:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • When I was growing up we got our mouths popped, I thought I lost a tooth a few times. It straightened us out real quick and in a hurry and even now I am almost 25 and my dad will still do it he dont care what age we are.
    PjsMommy06

    Answer by PjsMommy06 at 7:18 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I would try sitting down and talking with him. Listen to what he has to say and try to figure out what is going on. He may feel that he is always getting in trouble and can never do anything right. He might be going through puberty and have all these confusing feels and thoughts. I know when my DS was ths age he started being mouthy and we really had to figure different ways to figure things out.

    We also did a positive reinforcement system, so instead of always getting in trouble he would get rewarded for the positive things he was doing. We would try to thank him for doing things, even if it was something we asked like emptying the dish washer.
    Know that you are not the only one, most kids go through something like this, it is just a matter of trying to figure out how to deal with it.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:18 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • all i can say is dont back down. its your house your rules. if you have an adult relative or friend that he respects maybe they could talk to your son.
    cuteness13983

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 7:21 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • sit down and have a family talk, discuss the problem and come to an agreement... whats bothering him or her..
    skin172

    Answer by skin172 at 7:22 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • The previous post answered for me actually- but oh, this can be tough! I tried everything too, and nothing seemed to help. He had to want to change. We sat down some with him, and said- Look, nothing's working here- what would YOU do if your own son did the same to you? He really had to think about that. But sometimes they need to look at what's good and positive in their life- and know, that no matter what, Mom and Dad will be there for them.
    dawnf69

    Answer by dawnf69 at 7:26 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • Wow you are really playing the game of wills. Your son has hit puberty. Yes, boys are just as moody as girls. You have backed him into a corner and he's standing his ground. Step back from him and try seriously talking to him not at him. He is confused not a baby any longer but far from being an adult. Something is bothering him. I felt my parents did not love me and I wanted their affection. and when I didn't get either I became belligerent to my parents. So when my DS did the same, I would say, I love you, I will always love you but I do not like your attitude or behavior or actions, whatever he was doing to piss me off. That usually broke him down.
    depressedmom65

    Answer by depressedmom65 at 8:45 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I have to agree its time to start talking and to start listening. A lot of times children say things and get rude and disrepectful because they feel they are getting heard, they are being mistreated or they are just simply angry. Boys are moody and mouthy, I have two. :)
    I sat down with my oldest and had a very long talk about how much I love him and how it hurts my feelings when he talks to me the way he does. Come to find out he had multiple examples of when I talked to him like that and how it made him feel. I never even thought about that. We had a great talk and things are so much better...I can't even begin to describe how much better it is.
    My youngest is 12 and I've been more conscious of what I'm saying and doing, and take the time to really listen. I think if punishment isn't helping, its probably making him feel like you don't listen to him or care how he feels about things. So he gets angry and lashes out.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:51 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I have the same problem with my daughter ...but she is 9 and nothing seems to work so far....and I thought in a couple of years she is going to get better,but after reading all this coments I'm feeling hopeless.
    VienaMira

    Answer by VienaMira at 2:53 AM on Nov. 17, 2010

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