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My litttle girl's daddy and I have recently separated. How do we tell a soon to be 3 year old that her mommy and daddy will be living in separate places? Any advice or recommendations are greatly appreciated.

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egarnett

Asked by egarnett at 8:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I just went thru this in February and my DD turned 3 in May. I just told her that daddy was going to stay in a new house. I never lead her on to believe that he would return. She would ask almost everyday "when will daddy come home" and I would just remind her that he lives in a new home.
    when she asked why, I just told her that mommy and daddy need to stay in different homes.
    you will get really tired of repeating yourself but it will pass. She stopped asking after about 3 months. I was honest with her and only explained to answer her and to her level of understanding.
    When she gets older (teens), if she wants the real answer, I will give more information.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:21 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I'm sorry to hear that :( I have no great advice. My husband and I got in an argument last night, he walked out the door, and my 4 year old FREAKED out! He wasn't even going to leave, just went to calm down.... Kids are more sensitive than we think :(
    I would probably just try to explain things to her... Good Luck!!
    mom2maddie06

    Answer by mom2maddie06 at 8:22 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • That is so sad , i am sorry , when my dd was 3 her dad and i spilt up while she was at my sisters , i went to get her she was so excited to see her dad, who was not at home. that night she cried herself to sleep, i was right by her side, her last words that night to me were mommy is my daddy gonna be alright.... I told her yes , he is fine... so the best thing i can think of is remember no matter how angry you may be or get they still love their daddy's.....

    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 8:29 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • I should add that after almost 9 months of seperation, he is a great dad. They have a great relationship and I always let him take her even if it's not scheduled visitation day(s).
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:37 PM on Nov. 10, 2010

  • i'm sorry... but you have a golden age of innocence on your hands... explain as best you can, then make it seem GREAT that your kiddo will have 2 rooms, 2 beds, etc... I know it sounds silly but at 3... having MORE is great... when your child is older you can talk about it more in depth... but i don't think that there is a way to really make a 3 year old understand... do the best you can to be supportive, loving, and understanding of outbursts, issues, and confusion...
    asil

    Answer by asil at 9:33 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

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