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Any insight on changing a lazy husband?

I think I'm more of a replacement mother. My husband doesn't even wash his own clothes. If I let them pile up he'll go out and buy new. He absolutely doesn't clean up after himself at all. Heck, can't even get him to take out the garbage. Not even the manly chores are done. I work full time, I'm the breadwinner, have 4 kids ranging from 4 to 12. I know you can't get a tiger to change its spots, but perhaps someone has the magic answer. I even withheld sex advising him when he wants to act like a man I'll treat him like a man...still no success (or sex). Any suggestions?


Asked by DeeMomOfFour at 11:59 PM on Nov. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (578 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • My dear...unfortunately you can't. My first husband was a very good man, honest, loving and faithful but lazy beyond belief and unfortunately I think it's genetic because my 22 year old son with him seems to be following in the same footsteps. I couldn't take it anymore and it got to a crucial breaking point and we got divorced. Now, my current husband of 20 years works like a horse but he's verbally abusive, a liar, cold and a cheat. So, what can I tell you...neither is better. I'm about to turn into a Lesbian or a Nun!!

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 1:37 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • he needs to want to make that change leave him for awhile and see if he wakes from his dream GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:00 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Trade him in for a newer younger model! LOL I kid...or do I? Sorry, honestly I have no magic answer...sounds like it is time to drag his butt to Dr. Phil! Not realistic? Probably not but I think before handing in the towel could you drag him to some sort of counseling. In the end he is completely disrespecting you and showing no appreciation or love for everything you do for him.

    Answer by Duckylicious at 12:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Beat him with a stick. LOL

    Answer by Shines3 at 12:45 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • wow! I agree. Leave him for a while and see if he changes. If it were me, I wouldn't have put up with that. It takes 2 to run a Married household. I'm sorry, but he kind of sounds like a dead-beat!

    Answer by firethearson at 12:04 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Why don't you try treating him like one of the kids? Maybe that might give a little motivation, otherwise, I don't know. But I do wish you luck.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:31 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Have you tried saying "Okay, it's time to clean up!" and then cleaning up WITH him?

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:05 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • that beating with a stick thing sounds like it might work LOL

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:03 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • if he can buy new clothes then he can pay you for cleaning up after him, charge him for all the stuff you do for him!

    Answer by mom2eas at 3:00 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Think" Creative punishment. Like if he wont do the dishes. he doesn't eat.     Hide the car keys when its laudry day. Good luck shug, were all pulling for ya here!


    Answer by Nerdymama at 3:38 AM on Nov. 11, 2010