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What difference does it make if I'm there or not?

When I have private time, I don't want others around (for long)

My DH came down plopped on the couch and dozed off, but his presence made me uneasy, like I couldn't just relax. He didn't see what difference it makes if he's there or not.

I just couldn't relax with him right there and ended up moving my stuff elsewhere after he dozed off. wth? Why did ya come down and just go back to sleep?

Make a difference to you? Am I over-reacting? I'm with these people 18 hours a day, I just wanna break and be alone, ya know? If I say that, it hurts people's feelings tho.

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 7:07 AM on Nov. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I'm right with you Zoeyis and completely get what you are talking about. There comes a point in my day that I like to be by myself, no kids, no hubby.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 7:16 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I HATE being away from my husband. My kids I can stand being away from (lol) but my husband, that's a no-go for me. When I'm not with him or even around him, I feel weird, lonely.

    I don't get "me" or "alone" time because I don't need it. I don't want it. It's always been like that and it will always be like that.

    I prefer to be with him and spend time with him verses being alone.

    ...and I'm with him 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week. We don't even go to the grocery alone. :)
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 7:12 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I totally understand your feeling, but he probably doesn't get it, or he wouldn't have come down to lay beside you. He probably just needed some together time, and your needs didn't coincide at the same time. At a quiet time together, I would try to talk to him. Say I like this time of being together right now, but I want to explain about the other night. I just needed some me time, alone with no one else around, and I don't want you to think it meant that I don't also like our together time. If he says he wasn't bothering you, not talking, etc, then say, that might be ok for you if you were having an alone time, but for me it means something different, and I don't want you to think I'm rejecting you or anything like that, but I need to be completely alone, so that I can come to our together times completely relaxed. It may be hard for him to understand this, but good luck with trying.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 7:32 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I totally understand needing a break. I have been a SAHM for 9 years and I love my husband and children. I would do anything for them and usually do. I also understand needing "me time" I think it is healthy and natrual. I am not saying that it is something I would want to do every night or all the time.

    Also, if you are down stair spending some quiet time for yourself and he is upstairs sleeping, then I agree he could have stayed upstairs. I know my DH likes his down time as well.

    I think you should try and talk to him. Try not to fight or argue, just let him know that you would like just and hour or two of "me time"

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:21 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I live in a very small trailer so there really is no place for alone time unless hubbys at work and daughters in school. I enjoy being around my husband and daughter tho. I do my usual cleaning house and do laundry all day and I'm usually the one falling asleep not my hubby he is a night owl.
    SheriesMom

    Answer by SheriesMom at 7:56 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • i let it be known when my time is being interupted. I snap. My dh says i'm bipolar..(i'm not..that i know of)..but usually i will be having my peaceful alone time and dh and my son will come in picking at each other and i will totally snap on them and kick them out or say something really mean to where they don't want to be around me. I just hate being interupted..or losing my train of thought when i'm reading or on the computer..or whatever when they come in doing there horse play.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:08 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • It's crucial for all of us to have some "me time" b/c with that time to unwind & to relax w/ourselves will help us to be better parents to our children as well as better wives to our husbands. IMPO your hubby should've just stayed on upstairs and slept.

    NubianQueen78

    Answer by NubianQueen78 at 8:15 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • My ex-husband was like the first responder and that was smothering to me to not do anything without me. I liked doing things by myself here and there. I didn't feel the need to give up friends when I met him and spend every minute with him only like he did.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:32 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • He probably wanted to be near you. However, I can full understand wanting your alone time and wanting nobody to bother you. And letting him know that you want that isn't unfair and shouldn't be insulting. You're a person outside of a wife and mother, you should be allowed time to be yourself and by yourself.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:56 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • My husband was on vacation last week and although I loved having him home by the end I just wanted 2 minutes to sit in quiet and do my own thing. Him just begin there was enough to make me want to go crazy. I love him dearly and most times miss when we aren't together but I can't even shower without someone barging in or do laundry without an audience.
    melissasue38

    Answer by melissasue38 at 10:03 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

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