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My daughter was caught trying to sneak in to her boyfriend's dorm last night.

She's 17, he's 17 and attends an all boy's private high school.
She told me she was spending the night at a friend's house.

What should be her consequences?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Nov. 2, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • a chasity belt

    Answer by akashaismyworld at 8:58 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • ok that was kinda sacastic i think the normal punishment is yelling and lectures but im a mom and personally i think the age to start having sex is 17 but talk to her about safe sex because now that you know what shes doing you cant really stop her but you can make sure she has the information she needs and maybe look into birth control good luck

    Answer by akashaismyworld at 9:00 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • a nice long talk and grounded. no phone no computer no tv no ipod no nothing. school home and thats it.

    Answer by marinewife52704 at 9:00 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I agree with marine wife. She is still 17 and lives under your roof! She is just showing you that she is irresponisble and cannot be trusted. Unfortunatly akasha is also right and you need to talk to her so that she is educated enough to make a decision that you or her will not later regret. I have a 2yo daughter and I dont even wanna think about what your going through. I really sucks but its normal. She just needs to start acting like an adult if she wants to be treated like one. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 9:21 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • Strip her room and ground her. She should be working a full time job and going to school. If she stays busy she won't have time to skank around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • ok everyone is overreacting shes 17 im still seventeen and im an adult i am a single mother getting a divorce and im not quite 18 it would be crazy to go extreme over this shes an adult who can think for herself your job as a parent is direct her the right way

    Answer by akashaismyworld at 2:32 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Ultimately, what you are looking at isn't a particular incident where your daughter was disobedient. If she has decided to become sexually involved with this guy, which I guess we are assuming, a "punishment" for this isn't going to solve that. You can try talking to her in a non-combative way about sexuality and choices, but a punishment is probably just going to alienate her.

    Answer by knightmoves at 3:13 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • First to the 17 yr old getting a divorce .. you are exactly what this mother is worried about for her own child!! I agree with the ladies saying to inform your daughter, knowledge is the most important thing. I think she needs to be on bc, talk to her, calmly and rationally, remember when you were her age. Its hard for parents to do that these days with the way society is raising the kids. I might be young but I know that kids want the support from their parents. If you go crazy on her she will just clam up, and still continue to date him. As for locking her up and not letting her see him, good luck, she will find a way, they always do.

    Answer by Mommy_of_two_85 at 5:07 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • In response to akashaismyworld (I am not bashing). If my child is living in my house and being supported by me - then they are not an adult. I was a mom at 17 to and I do not regret having my daughter, but I do regret having her so young.
    I do not agree with such a severe punishment of taking everything away - she will rebel. I teach my girls(14 and 16) constantly through normal conversations(not lecturing) about things we see or hear about STD's - no sugar coating anything about effects of STD's and the hardships of raising a child while you are practically still one yourself. Which they have experienced right along with me. That is really what you need to do - educate her on making the smart decision - if you just say "no, no, no" that just makes them want to do something more. Make sure she knows about safe sex (bc and condoms) and punish her for lying to you about where she was.

    Answer by janie-o at 6:29 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I would be more concerned about her lying about where she was at than the boyfriend, honestly. I would definitely be talking to her about birth control.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 7:24 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

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