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Should you help DH with online degree?

My DH is getting a degree online that work is paying for. He wants so much help from me, have done 90% of the work at this point. I want to help and feel bad if i don't because he has add but kinda get pissed that i have the added pressure since i already have four kids to help. Opinions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Nov. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • My opinion is that you say should you "help" him his online schooling but then you say you have "done" 90% that's not helping in my opinion. You don't sit down and DO your kids homework do you?
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 1:25 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • No that's true i don't but i guess since he works and i don't he feels like i have more time and he will study the info but doesn't like doing all the writing and it takes him sooo long that i feel like if i don't "help" him that he won't pass. Should i not feel like that? Help.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:32 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • every once in a while is fine, I have done that for my fiance' when he needs it but doing 90% isn't right. The school he is going to is gonna give him a degree he didn't earn and that's not right
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 1:33 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • lots of people work and do online schooling and they don't have someone else do it for them. It just isn't right. There is a difference between helping and doing. You can help just like you would with a child but you are not responsible for doing his work for him and if you do the work for him how does that really help him, he will get a degree and he may not have even learned what he needs to. I don't think you need to feel guilty or that he won't pass. Passing is 100% up to him.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 1:38 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • It's his degree to earn or not and it depends on him and not you. If you want to help him, then help him have the time to do the work that he needs to do, help by keeping the kids away so he can study, help by supporting him, encouraging him to keep at it. You are not earning the degree, your name will not be on the paper, so why are you doing 90% of the work?

    In fact you are doing him a disservice. Once he graduates and gets into that field of work, he will be expected to know his stuff. He can not be picking your brain every five minutes because you are the one who got the degree and not him.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 1:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I wouldn't do ANY work for him, Thats called cheating and he could get kicked out.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 1:57 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I would do it for him. He needs a degree, bottom line.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 2:21 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • It's true, lots of people work full time, attend school full time while raising multiple children on their own. But that doesn't mean every one is capable of doing that, especially someone with ADD. If he needs those classes or degree to be able to keep his job, by all means go ahead and help him. You have kids and he needs to support his family, so don't jeopardize his income. But there are plenty of other ways to help him other than writing his assignments. For example, study together as in a study group where students exchange their ideas, etc, but write their own papers. This would not only help him speed up the process with his school work (without cheating), but perhaps, most importantly brings you closer together as a couple. If you don't have enough time together without the children, make a date of it on a regular basis and find a sitter or ask gma to watch the kids. Good luck!

    Lilly
    LillysWorld

    Answer by LillysWorld at 5:20 AM on Nov. 18, 2010

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