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When I was a child, sad to say I was... adult content

When I was a child I was molested a couple of times by different people. Now I find myself being over protective of my 1year old. That part is not my problem, my problem is I'm over protective even with family members. My father wants my son to stay the night with him so I can have a night to myself to sleep. I've been complaining about not getting enough sleep.My dad is great, wouldn't hurt a fly. He's wonderful but I cant help but to have that thought...what if. I feel like something is wrong with me. My worst fear is someone will violate my child. How can I think more reasonably?

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Jenaiko01

Asked by Jenaiko01 at 4:29 PM on Nov. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,334 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Have you been to counseling to work through the issues? You should probably do that now before it really affects your child's life.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 4:31 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • yeah you should really try counseling or group therapy... it really works and it does not make you "crazy" for going!
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 4:32 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I think I'm fine. I just get funny about people. Sad to say child violation is common and thats what scares me. I'm ok with my concern because I rather be too concerned then no at all. I'm just wondering how to find that balance. I dont want to feel this way about my father.
    Jenaiko01

    Comment by Jenaiko01 (original poster) at 4:36 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Honestly I have never been molested or anything but those thoughts have crossed my mind about my kids when I let them stay at their Grandparents house. I don't really think they would ever ever ever do anything but you know how your mind lets you think alot of stuff sometimes. I would go see someone about your feelings though since you have that kind of background. Maybe see if your Dad would be willing to come stay with you and just help you out at your own house. Does your Dad know about your past? If so...I wouldn't see why he wouldn't be okay with it. He should be understanding and let you ease into feeling okay about it.
    kristinashley24

    Answer by kristinashley24 at 4:37 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I am in the same boat. I am over protective and the thought is always at the back of my mind. But I am also like you and I think I'm okay.

    I have actually had a conversation with my children and told them if someone touches them in certain ways or makes them uncomfortable, to let mommy know. I will NEVER get angry at them and they will NOT be in trouble.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 4:41 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I'm sure your dad is just fine and would not hurt your child in any way. However, as a mom, I never felt comfortable about having my daughter spend the night away from me when she was under 5 years old. I just felt that she was still at an age where she would not be able to tell me if anything was wrong. That was just my own rule of thumb - it wasn't because I mistrusted any relative.

    A way to have your dad help you is that maybe you and your child could go spend the night at his place. Then he could help you out while you are present. I would not want to spend a single night away from my 1 year old.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 4:53 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • None of this is crazy thinking, you are being a good parent. (counseling is a venting session, and it's good to ....."let out the concerns, and old laundry.....(so to speak)" It's not bad to want to talk .
    So here's a take on this moment.
    It's where you don't sleep so you need to have a break. nobody is able to have a break usually from children sometimes in the best of families. But some families have cohesiveness that comes at a price. I wouldn't be jealous.
    use some immediate sources around like the parks, drop off places--A gym for kids with a drop off service for one hour, or check into a best friend who's a single mom, or moms of children your age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

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