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what do I do

ok ill start from the top. my 15 yr old had a mscarriage at the beggining of oct we told her she cant talk too the boy anymore he wont leave us alone he keeps callin and txting and shes mad at me for not letting them talk. his mom said i was neglecting her for not letting her go anywhere am i wrong. what would yall do.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Nov. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I think by not allowing her to do things anymore, she will more than likely rebel and start doing things behind your back. It could get serious. That is usually runaways decide to runaway, because they feel that is the only way out. I understand how upset you must be that your young daughter was sexually active and got pregnant. Regardless of her age, she was a mother for a short time, and she is hurting inside (no doubt). Comfort her. Hold her and hug her and talk to her about everything. Tell her that you will have talks with her no matter what time of day, even 4 in the morning if that is when she needs you. I also suggest you, along with the boys mother, talk to these two kids and tell them that what they were doing is meant for adults. Explain to them the consequences of getting pregnant at such a young age. (I had my first at 17 and life has been extremely tough.) Get her on BC immediately. Help her through this age.

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 9:55 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I Would let her talk to him to c what he wants. BUt IF THEY R going to have sex but her on birth control. I wld nt tell her to go out and do it again though. the miscarage was gods way of telling her most lkly that its not the time or the right person to be with. But that me opion.

    Answer by jane213 at 9:55 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • you have every right to be mad and overprotective, but try talking to her about safe sex, and let her know its not an encouragement to have sex but to protect her future and herself. tell her enjoy her life as a teenager not a teen mom, that is no fun

    Answer by L.Makakoa at 1:00 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Hi I know how upset you are.but if you keep her away fromher boyfriend. She will find a way to be with him. shewill find out for herself if this guy is right for her.I know because I know someone who had the same problem.She ended up married to himand then divorced.She has alot of respect for her mom.Good luck let us know how everything turns out.

    Answer by fotballmom64 at 6:13 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I have to agree with the other moms. She will find a way to see/talk to this boy no matter what. Yes you need to have a good long conversation with her about everything. And the most important thing you can do is listen. I know how hard that is sometimes, but it is truly the only way to know what she is feeling. I know my girls will talk more with me if I just listen, and I have a hard time doing that!!
    I also think you need to get her on bc. No, it is not what you want to do, but if they had sex once they will again. And if not with him someone else. This is the age when you can either get closer with her or push her away. Yes, I would be pissed, heartbroken and all the other emotions you have, but at the end of the day, she is your daughter and you have to be there. None of us are perfect, but I think keeping her from him will back fire.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 10:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Why can't she talk to the boy? What is the reason behind this?

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:50 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Why wasn't she on birth control? You didn't have a clue? She needs to be on BC immediately, and by making him forbidden candy, you are just going to push them further together. If you are serious about keeping them apart, move 2,000 miles away from him! If you aren't willing to do that, why aren't you letting her see him? Honey I am sorry, but once that dam has been broke...if you liked this kid before the pregnancy, why can't you like him now? He didn't do this all by himself, he didn't rape her did he? There are plenty of place for them to get together, away from home-she does still go to school doesn't she?

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:56 PM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • At her age if my mom told me I couldn't talk to a boy after that happened I would have become rebellious & I would have started sneaking around to talk to him. You can't lock her away for the rest of her life. My mom told me if there is a will there is a way. I do believe that. You can not be with your daughter 24 7 she needs to learn & grow. We all want to put are kids in bubbles we can't. I'm not saying let her run wild.I had problems with my 14 year old & I took parenting class & they had a lot good Ideas & some of them I didn't like.

    Answer by Shelbegto at 4:01 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • Maybe even counseling for you & your daughter may help you never know until your try it.

    Answer by Shelbegto at 4:04 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • I think the more you try to stop it the more it will happen. The damage is already done. Now its time to educate so that it doesn't happen again. Counseling sounds like a great idea and since she's only 15 she may need just a little more supervision.

    Answer by msteasha at 3:17 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

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