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3 Bumps

What to do

My 16 year old daughter is pregnant and i have to admit i am making her life pretty easy right now. She goes out almost every night with friends. She doesn't have to do anything around the house. I do baby her. I told her that i will help her with the baby when it is here. I know my older daughter is upset for how i have been and now i see that i'm handling this the way i should. My 16 year old is talking about moving out and in with my oldest daughter who is in her 20's is married and has a young child. What my 16 year old doesn't know is that she will have to finish school and do 99% of the work with her child when it is here if she moves in with my oldest. i'm starting to think it is best for her to move in with my oldest cause my oldest won't take over. So should i let my 16 year old move out?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Nov. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • If you feel that is whats best and your oldest is willing to let her live with you then I would let her. You could run unto problems with this and fighting between your children so I would really make sure everyone knows what the rules are before the move. I would also say that you might have to be ready to take your DD back, if for some reason it does not work out. I do think you should be having her do things around the house and helping out, just my opinion. A baby is a huge life change and if you are still being taken care of yourself how can you ready for the baby.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:17 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • go with your gut mama!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:21 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • sounds like u are enabling her by not making her do chores. she might get the message that i'm preggers thats cool, life is a breeze etc. she needs to be more responsible and having chores and helping would be a start. u are still her mom and she is not an adult she should have limits on how often she goes out with friends u need to put your foot down. instead of hanging out with friends i would have her hitting the books. if u keep enabling her , she might get preggers again and u will have a screaming grand kid in each arm at 11 pm while their mom is having fun.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 3:57 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Hi I think that you and your daughters should sit down together and discuss about her moving.Make sure your daughters talk about everything that is expected from both of them.I think that is very very thoughtful of your older daughter taking in her younger sister.Iwould also make sure that her husband is ok with her moving in.You have to make sure because this is big change. good luck and let us know how everthing turns out.
    fotballmom64

    Answer by fotballmom64 at 6:05 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • First of all, no disrespect to you but it sounds like you are enabling your 16 year-old a bit. She needs to deal the consequences due to her actions, and in her case it was irresponsibility. I would not let her go out every night. She needs to start thinking like a mother and become more responsible. This means helping out around the home, getting good grades and being there first and foremost for her child. It is HER child and she needs to do most of the work, not you, not her sister. She could live with you, but you can't take over. You need to detach with love, help her when it's convenient for YOU and allow her to own up to motherhood. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 9:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • It sounds like you are enabling your daughter a little. You need to make her starting doing things around the house. Make her get out and get a job. Don't let her sit around and make her think that it's perfectly fine for her to be a pregnant teen. My oldest daughter is 17 and she's pregnant but I will NOT let her sit around the house and do NOTHING. Now I'm not saying that I don't do anything for her but I'm not going to let her go out with her friends whenever and tell her I'll pretty much take care of her kid for her so she can go be a teenager. Your daughter made the decision to have sex so now she needs to deal with ALL of the consequences.
    mommaedwards61

    Answer by mommaedwards61 at 11:48 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • You do what you think is right for your baby and her precious baby. I stayed with my parents as a teenage mom (at the time I hated it) but now I realize that I would have never been able to do it on my own. I still Thank them to this day.
    Momma72923

    Answer by Momma72923 at 12:36 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I don't know what is right for you to do. However I know her life will be harder if she has to live out on her own. Her sister is not going to pay her bills is she? Who is going to get the diapers? Perhaps this will give her a wake up call.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:49 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • Please listen to the above answers. I had a 16 year old that showed up on my doorstep, pregnant. I like you, felt that the damage had been done, so let her run wild, the first time I was certain that she was not ready for this was during her labor, when she looked at me and said, Mommy make it stop. Take me home, I don't want to do this! (okay, so I was dumb, I had a major stroke two years before this!). We brought the baby home, and Mom did what Mom does, treated that baby as if she was my own, I had a three year old of my own, and let her do what she wanted! Big Mistake! Yep, she ended up pregnant again 6 months later! I'm not going into the hell we went through for the next 4-5 years, but suffice it to say, that she is living with her father again, has her daughter with her, and just graduated from college at 31 years old! I raised that little girl until she was 8 years old, and still have a big hole in my heart.
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 11:04 AM on Nov. 14, 2010

  • If she wants to move let her. She can always move back home. Maybe it's time for her to learn & grow & she is with someone you trust & the baby will be well cared for. I know I have learned most when my parents where not there trying to baby me along . I can say this only time will tell & good luck to her & baby. Good luck to you too it's hard letting go.
    Shelbegto

    Answer by Shelbegto at 2:57 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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