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How to deal with the death of a child. R.I.P Jaylah

My daughter was murdered almost two years ago by a man I was in love with. I walked out of the room and I was gone for less than two whole minutes. When I came back I realized something wanst right. The images keep playing in my mind. How she looked, me trying cpr and looking into her eyes while she slipped away. I cant afford any professional help but I need some kind of help. Its driving me crazy, more so on the date it happened and on her birthday even sometimes when I look at my son who looks just like her. Any suggestions? I know I will never get over it but I have to ease this pain in my heart.


Asked by EmpathyEve at 10:00 PM on Nov. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (322 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Oh honey, I am so sorry! Maybe it saved you and your son's life to get that bastard out of the house! So she didn't die in vain. I know that children go straight to angel's arms when they leave us, take comfort in knowing that you will meet her again one day! Rejoice in your son, Mama! Make sure he knows that he is cherished and loved every minute of every day! Thank God that you and he are alive, and the raw jagged pain that you know today will settle into a dull pain, ask God to help you move on Momma, God didn't do this, the bastard boyfriend did, but God can help you get through it. I also agree that you need to find a grief group and attend their meetings for a while. The people there are all going through what you are going through, it will really help you!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 10:39 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Please look into a group called Compassionate Friends, it might even be that with a .org. It is for people who have lost a child. Some to disease, others to murder, etc… it will help you to connect with those who have a loss like you do. You will never forget her, but the ache and pain might become a little duller over time.

    big hugs!

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:12 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • oh waow i am so so sorry, i don't know how you must feel, but you are a strong woman to be getting through this as best as you have so far. as the pp said, talk about her and talk to her if you believe shes listening. try not to feel guilty of something you didn't know could happen. life is strange and hard to understand at times and it make syou wonder if there is a god and if there is why does he do these things to us. your never goin to forget her, but try to stay strong for you and your son. hugs.

    Answer by otoole at 10:16 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • ((HUGS)) so sorry for your loss, there are free/low cost professional help call your dr or social services.

    Answer by raisingmen at 10:04 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • im so sorry :( look for support groups in your area dealing with child loss many support groups are free or low cost

    Answer by pookipoo at 10:06 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • That's horrible!!! :( I lost a child too but under different circumstances. He passed away inside of me and it broke my heart and for so long I blamed myslef cuz it was my job as his mother to protect him. But the thing is, we can't be there every second of every day! When these things happen it is normal to feel a constant grief! Your children are suppose to outlive you! I just find comfort in being the very best person I can be so that I know I can see him again when my time comes. I wish there was a simple answer but the pain NEVER goes away!! Just pray for her every night and talk about her when you feel like you need to, make sure you aren't keeping quiet, talking helps alot! SORRY for your loss!!!

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 10:07 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Wow girl I'm so so sorry. I couldn't imagine. There are places that you can go and hotlines if you need someone to talk to. Call the suicide hotline, you dont need to be at the point where you want to commit suicide but they have peolpe that'll talk to you about anything you want to talk about. Please hang in there.

    Answer by Jenaiko01 at 10:10 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • at some of our hospitals we have grief support groups, maybe you can see if your local hospitals have any...

    Answer by babymar at 10:14 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • i also meant to say that i am so sorry for your devastating loss...

    Answer by babymar at 10:15 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Thank you everyone for your kind and comforting words. all of your suggestions have been great. Thank you balagan_imma for the website suggestion.

    thank you


    Comment by EmpathyEve (original poster) at 10:22 PM on Nov. 11, 2010