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Fight=no baby

OK so me and my husband had a fight today. It all started with me asking him to help clean the house. He always gets mad when I ask, bc he doesnt want to do it. He tells me that I need to leave him aline, he will clean just for me not to bother him. Same story diff day...ok. So later on I thought things were cooled down and I go up to him bc I need to help moving our table. He yells at me and things get heated again. I try to talk it out with him, and so on. he says please go in the other room, so that I dont say something I will regret, and I resisted at first but I went...He goes after me and says ugh I cant help....I dont want to have a baby with you EVER!! ( we are TTC) That was 5 hrs ago, and he is still mad at me. He says I pissed him off so bad that he doesnt want to have kids with me. I am devestated and he wont talk to me. We have spent so much money trying and now its all gone. He says this is pay back!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Nov. 11, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (15)
  • He sounds like an immature, selfish, vindictive jerk. I wouldn't want to have babies with a man like that, either. Withholding children as punishment for asking for help around the house? REALLY? That is WAY over the line.

    It's clear to me, just from this paragraph, that you guys don't get along very well. I think it's time for couples counciling.

    I'm sorry he said something so hurtful to you.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:34 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Not in your marriage but I feel that he said this as revenge and probably does not mean it. Sometimes people not just men say things in angry I do count it a good side that he did not leave the house. You very badly want to have a kid so that is your weak spot a place of pain. Let him cool off and try to figure why he does not like to clean and see if you all can some to a equal agreement. I don't think he really meant it Good Luck .

    karing4elmas

    Answer by karing4elmas at 10:37 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Actually this is the only thing we fight about. We have been together awhile...and now this is the only thing. i want help and he wants to watch tv. Other than that hes great!! But now I am like so lost and hurt

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I would just let it settle for a while. When my hubby and I were TTC it took a toll on both of us, physically and emotionally, especially once we started the fertility treatments. Not sure what exaclty your issues with concieving are, but if there are problems on his end, this might be his way of acting out and making it your problem, so that he doesn't feel like less of a man. I know there were many times my hubby and I would fight and argue, both because we wanted it so bad and were upset it did't happen like we planned. We tried on our own for 3 years, and then we did 9 rounds of fertility treatments. We both said things we regret, and after having a few hours alone, we always worked it out. Now we're 24 weeks pregnant and we couldn't be happier. Just keep your chin up, give him some space, and it will work itself out. Good Luck!
    Erin_Jus

    Answer by Erin_Jus at 10:38 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • He tells me that he doesnt like to clean bc I ask him to. He wants to be able to do it on his own. He says it feels like I am being his boss by asking for help/ BUT he will not get up on his own...ever. He will let all the dishes go dirty, then buy paper plates, bowls, spoons, and forks before ever washing a dish. I have to do everything and work.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:40 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I'm glad I'm wrong!

    Since this is all you fight about then I would have to agree with karing... sounds like he was just trying to needle you and it was said out of revenge.

    My husband doesn't like bieng asked to help around the house either, so what I have done is give him a couple of small chores that I ask he have done (actually, just one.... take the trash to the curb on trash day lol), and then I warn him at least a day in advance that I will want help picking up, moving furniture, etc. It works for us because the warning lets him get used to the idea. He still whines when I ask but meh lol.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Yea that sounds like a good idea like a days warning. Girl mine wont even do trash/ or help me with unloadeing the car with groceries, or laundry, or whatever... Im telling you unless he volunteers he is not going to do it. He can sit there and watch me do everything and still be watching tv and not care. This is my ONLY complaint about my husband!! i mean I am devestated right now crying off and on...andhe doesnt tell me goodnight or anything, just goes in there and goes to sleep. I am really upset right now and he doesnt care!!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:22 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • I'm sorry, mamma :( He cares, he is just too angry to show it right now.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:34 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • Thnk you for talking to me!! I hope my husband and I can talk this out. I love him and i love our life. i just want a bit of helon ways that mke him feel good about him helping.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:59 PM on Nov. 11, 2010

  • He sounds lazy and immature. Why would you want to have a baby with a man like that? He's to much of an ass to take the groceries in for you and you think he's going to help you raise a baby???

    This is ridiculous. He needs to grow the hell up before he's responsible for another human being.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

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