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Without spaking, how would you go about this?

My DD is very "hateful" she hits, kicks, screams, throws herself into walls, and so on. She's all around destructive and time-outs aren't working. I don't want to spank her and I'm tired of yelling at her ALL THE TIME! Her daddy isn't home to help and I'd really like my nice child back before he does come home for his vacation. Please help me!

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Asked by mrssummerlin at 12:11 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • does she get to get out and burn energy? Maybe she needs to go play with some kids, like tag, lol I know I'm tired after I work out, and I'm super calm, so I think it may work for your tot too

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:15 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • we do go to the playground fairly often, but when it's time to leave she flips out. maybe I need to start walking her up there and back... she's fine leaving until we get in the car.
    As far as other kids... One of my friends has kids much to old to play with her (she's 2) and my other friend just moved back, yesterday in fact, and we haven't been able to get together yet.

    I think a lot of this is because her daddy is overseas and she hasn't seen him in 6 months, but until he gets back I really need a way to control her better without feeling like I'm in a lose lose all day, kwim.
    Thank you so much for your in put.:)

    Comment by mrssummerlin (original poster) at 12:21 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • A lot of times kids want the attention that comes with the tantrum whether it is good or bad attention. My kids are told to go to their room and cool off. they are allowed to play with their toys or read or whatever will help them but I refuse to listen to the yell, scream or any of it because the only one that wants to hear it is them. They stay in their room for as long as needed and when they are done they are more than welcome to join everyone else to play.

    Answer by Iconoclast at 12:26 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • as for playground time you have to give a heads up like 5 minutes untill we leave and if you are cool give her a timer she can set so it feels like there is some kind of control in the time left; but when it's over it is over and time to go.

    Answer by Iconoclast at 12:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • right now she all mix up you say she been like this since her day left,get her mind on some thing do for dad when he comes home ,make gift ,maybe you and her need a break from each other ,see if grandma will take her few hrs just recharge all little girls are drama queens ,at 2yrs don't expect much

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:12 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • @ dutch- I will most certainly find something she can make for her daddy... I'm sure she'd love that. As for getting away from one another, that's a bit harder one grandma is 8 1/2 hrs away and the other is 4 hrs away and I don't have the money to travel right now.

    @Icon- I love the timer idea for the playground. I'll try it out and see how it works :)
    When it comes to the tantrums I've tried putting her in her room, but then she puts up an even bigger fight and by the time she's done I always feel like running away.

    Comment by mrssummerlin (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I agree about the timer thing for leaving he playground. I tell DS he has 5 minutes, then 1 minute, then last push on swing, last time on slide, last kick of ball, etc. Otherwise, I have a kicking and screaming toddler on the way to the car. It really helps.
    They say ignoring the tantrums is the best thing. I know it's SO hard to do, and when she's biting or otherwise physically hurting you (or other stuff), it's not really feasible. If it's possible, try to ignore the behavior if you can.
    I agree, also, that it's likely because she misses Daddy, and she can tell you're stressed about him being gone. DS always acts up when I'm stressed.
    Good luck, mama!!

    Answer by musicpisces at 2:31 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Be consistent and give her a head's up about what will be happening next. I had to carry my granddaughter kicking and screaming from the playground several times until she got a little older and could handle leaving. I did not get angry but simply told her it was how it had to be. Spend plenty of one on one time with her like reading and doing some fun things. Have her be your partner in loading the clothes dryer, dusting, anything where she thinks she is being a helper. Good luck!

    Answer by elizabr at 9:09 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I know it's hard, but kids feed off our energy. When I put my son in time out, I make him look me in the eye and listen to what I have to say about what he did wrong. And I keep putting him back into time out if he disobeys. It takes a while for them to get the hang of it, but if you give her a consistent time out or take away the things she wants when she throws a fit, she should get the message. GL!

    Answer by JJsMoMMy519 at 10:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

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