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6 Bumps

Too Over Protective..

Do you think that being way to over protective is wrong?


Do you think it can drive a wedge between parent and child over the years?


What do you consider over protective and why?

Answer Question
 
PjsMommy06

Asked by PjsMommy06 at 12:58 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 12 (805 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • I love asking questions and getting others opinions on such things. My son is 4 so I am still trying to learn. Please Bump so I can get more opinions from other mothers, any advice helps. Thanks.
    PjsMommy06

    Comment by PjsMommy06 (original poster) at 12:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I believe in keeping my children safe, but I also think that they need to make mistakes. Mistakes are a normal part of life that we learn from.
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 1:06 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • My mom was overprotective and it did make me hate her growing up BUT I turned out great because of it! She is now my hero and my best friend because she got me here to an adult life that I can be proud of!
    teardrop_7060

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 1:06 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Yes, yes, and to me overprotective is not giving your child space as they grow to show you that they know how to do the right thing. I believe in balance; giving children choices within boundaries, so that they can learn to think and act for themselves. Being overprotective = overbearing = smothered child = stunted growth and creativity = angry adult who will either repeat the behavior with their own kids or be the complete lazy and indifferent opposite.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 1:15 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • My mom had a friend who was over protective in the sense that she would dress her kids in snow suits if the temp was below 80 above zero...not kidding! I remember it being warm enough for me to wear shorts and mom's friend would show up at our house with her kids in snowsuits...that is overprotective
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:18 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I think if you are keeping them from experiencing the world to a point where they're not ready for it when they are on their own then your overprotectiveness has backfired. I think we all have a "mama bear" side over certain things, but when you hover when they play at the park or line the house with bubble wrap so they can't ever get hurt, they won't know how to be safe in the world around them. They have to get hurt sometimes. They have to learn how to deal with a bully, and how to problem solve. Some moms hinder this (I think we're all guilty of it sometimes).
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:19 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • My mom was overprotective when I was younger. I hated it, it was embarrasing to have to call my mom every time I left one place with a friend or got to another place. I got to the point I didnt go out much (not that I had many friends) but because of my mom I turned out to be a wonderful person (So im told all the time) and at least I made it to my 25th birthday!!! Thank you mom!!!
    JuneBug1985

    Answer by JuneBug1985 at 1:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • yes being overprotective can come back to haunt you. i knew alot of kids growing up whose parents were way to overprotective and when they got away from the parent they went crazy. while i dont think its ok to let your kids run wild and do whatever they want, being on the opposite end of that and not ever even letting them in the front yard to play is alittle bit on the crazy side to. (yes i know people whose kids are never even allowed outside)
    tiffanyv123

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 7:02 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • It really all depends on how overprotective you are. I know when I was a child I wasnt allowed to do anything in fear I would break something.. so I live in a wonderful snow state, and as an adult I dont even know how to skii!!!
    I think when a parent has an irrational fear and instill this fear on their child, yeah, its a little crazy.
    Also, if a parent is constantly on the "lookout" for danger, and it keeps the child shelterd from the world, yes, it can put a damper on the relationship the child and parent has.
    icn_mom

    Answer by icn_mom at 11:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • To your first two questions - YES! My mother was SUPER overprotective and controlling. It drove way more than a wedge between us. I think there are different levels of "overprotective" and it's hard to list them all in one little box. But to me, sheltering children from reality or stopping them from doing even normal child things simply because they COULD get hurt is being overprotective... I think it's important for children to grow up in the world they are one day going to have to learn to navigate & to teach by example. Overprotective parents tend to prefer to shelter and control, both of which are very harmful to both the child and the relationship they have with both their parents and the world in general.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:20 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

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