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How do I tell my sister to pick up after herself when she comes over?

Or is that something I automatically have to do? She has an 8 month old baby, my niece, and I love them both, but they usually come over, my sister usually wants something to eat right before I begin cooking dinner, so I make her whatever she wants, usually don´t mind, and usually she leaves right after that, she takes a ton of toys out for the baby to play with, and leaves it ALL for me to do.. It is soo frustrating, because at the time she comes over (uninvited) is a ver inconvenient time for my family. DH is just getting home from work and I am usually enjoying my only hours of peace that I have during the day before I start dealing with dinner... I need to tell her to clean up after herself, at LEAST.. But I dont want to be rude. I love my sister and my niece.

 
Luisa621

Asked by Luisa621 at 6:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,211 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Maybe you could plan a better time for her to come over and make it a special invitation. Do something special with her and the baby. Then let her know how much you enjoy the time with her and her daughter and that when she usually comes over you are busy and distracted because of the time of day. Then suggest she come over at a more convenient time. Oh and when she starts to leave, go over start picking up and casually say 'help me pick these up before you go please'. It may take a few times but she may 'get' it.
    chris219

    Answer by chris219 at 6:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • When you are chatting with her tell her you were thnking about things and would like her to change the time she comes over. Tell her what times work for you and let her know that is what you prefer. Give her a couple of choices and tell your honest reasons why that time works for you. When she is there you could casually say something like "let's pick up some of these toys together" or "can you give me a hand and help pick up these toys?". It's your home and you need to take control of the situation. It can all be done lovingly.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:34 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • "Hey sis, can you please tidy up before you leave? Thanks!" That's how I do it with my daughter. Short and firm in between, then I continue whatever I was doing before I said it. Don't wait for an answer. It's not open to discussion and any decent human being would answer "yes" anyway.

    BeachMom81

    Answer by BeachMom81 at 6:39 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Just tell her. She should know better
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:13 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I think you are going to have to have a chat with her, tell her "sis, you know I love you and the baby and I love to have you over for visits BUT I really wish you would A- call before coming over to make sure it is a good time and not come over right when hubby gets home- that is a very busy time for me and I can't enjoy our 'visits'. B- I don't mind that baby plays with toys but in my house whatever gets taken out has to be put away. It is not fair for you to get out all the toys-- and then leave me to pick them up." (you may want to consider just having a small basket with a few toys in it for them to use and limit the # of toys). As for her wanting to eat- you may want to tell her that you will be cooking supper soon, and if she is hungry she can stay for supper BUT right now the kitchen is closed and you are not fixing an extra meal/snack.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 7:55 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

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