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this might sound very selfish but this is how i feel is there other moms that feel the same??? any advise for a messy momma adult content

ok so i feel like im not accomplishing nothing in life or for myself im 21 years old and i have a 7 month baby girl im married almost 3 years i dropped out of high school and im living at my mother-in-law house wich i cant stand no job my husband has a shity job that only pays the bills and with a body that im not comfortable with-- i love my babygirl and husband with all my soul all my heart but im not happy with the life that i have-i know there is worse people than me but i feel awful unhappy--i know that i have to do something to change it because things dosnt happen by itself and i know that i also know that i have to work to get where i want to be-but idk how-- it feels like im stuck i cannot get a job anywhere my husband dosnt wnat to move out to another city because he thinks is to risky to go outthere without any backup money and a baby--everything seems really out of place and idk how to put everthng back in place

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • For starters can you work on getting your GED? That might give you a goal to work towards and a sense of accomplishment. Also, I don't know if you might consider looking at www.care.com and see if there are any jobs there for you. Some people looking for help say it is OK to bring your child with you. There are several categories of jobs. Use the pulldown to see them. The closer you live to big city the more jobs. That might then enable you and your husband to maybe get a place of your own. Follow the security suggestions on the site and communicate only through the website to start. I wish you all the best.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:41 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Why not go back to school? At one point in my life I was you age and I had 2 kids. I was a high school drop out due to having one kid at age 16. I got a GED and went to college. It was byfar one o the best decisions I've made in my life. Iam much older now and have a college degree. I have a good paying job and don't worry like I used to.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 6:42 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I totally understand where you are coming from. I am 36 been married 13 years, have 3 children and a wonderful husband. there are times feel like I am stuck, I have been a SAHM for 9 years. I love staying home, although I would like do something for me as well. I first think you should look at getting your GED, it will help you and make you feel like you have accomplished something. Second, look for things that make you happy, like a hobby and see if you can turn that into a job. I started doing local craft fairs, selling different things I made, and it was great.

    Keep your head up and know I think we all have times in our lives when we feel like this. For me is comes and goes, so hopefully it will for you as well.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • take up writing or some other hobby that requires you to meet a goal or finishing point. You could even take up biking or hiking and try to conquer some trail. Anything
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:52 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I agree with elizabr. I would also say to work on one thing at a time so that you don't get overwhelmed by looking at everything that needs to be changed. I get terribly overwhelmed when I look at all that I need to do, but I can manage everything if I take things one at a time - accomplish one and then move on to the next. I think looking into how to get your GED would be the ideal place to start, then do the steps you need to do to get the GED. That will open a whole lot up to you to be able to do, including getting a job. Then, once you have a job, your husband might have the breathing room he needs to find a better job. Then when you are both working at decent jobs, you can get out of the MIL's house !! See, it doesn't sound so bad when you look at it one step at a time ! Good Luck - you can do it !!!
    JustMyOpinion22

    Answer by JustMyOpinion22 at 7:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I know how you feel. I'm 26 with 4 kids. My DH has a job that is okay. He gets more than enough to pay the bills but we can't do anything special. I don't have a job, no college education, and my dad is still living with us after my mom passed. I decided that enough was enough. I am going back to school. There are even degrees that you can complete online! You don't have to put your dd in daycare or have your MIL watch her. Also, if your husband made as little as you say he does, you may be able to get complete financial assistance. There is lots for you to do, you just have to do it!! I know you can, because I am working my way through school with 4 kids, one newborn. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 8:25 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Yep - develop some goals. I think the GED is a great one. Working toward something is the only way you'll stop feeling like you aren't accomplishing anything.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 9:06 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Btw, you are not being selish. Even though you are a wife and mom, you should think about your life too. It is actually good for your kids.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:14 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Ok girlie, its time to pull up your big girl panties. Take one step at a time. Everyday get up early before the baby, get the house cleaned, and then feed the baby and go for a nice 30 minute to an hour walk. This will help to get the energy in your body flowing, not to mention will help with the weight loss. Once you see that you are starting to accomplish at least loosing a few pounds, and feeling a little better about yourself. You will then be able to start tackling the other things. You are 21 years old, you are still very young. I am 28 and have come a long ways since being 21, so I understand. One occupation that you may want to consider is being a insurance agent. No higschool diploma or ged needed. I would recommend property and casualty, that would be like home and auto. Life and Health gets really confusing, I tried studing for it, totally blew my mind, lol... That is where I started!
    mommommomomom

    Answer by mommommomomom at 9:22 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I was in your shoes at one point, I quit school at the end of 11th grade, and my reason was because my boyfriend at the time was more important!! And now looking at it 12 years later, it was the biggest mistake I ever made!! I never had any kids until I turned 24, but I did go back and get my GED and now have a pretty good job. You are young, do not feel like you are a horrible person, everyone makes mistakes. That is kinda what life is about, live and learn. My advice is to go back to school, get your GED and I promise you will feel a heck of a lot better. You will feel a sense of accomplishment!! And when you finish, you will be able to find a job. It is hard now days to find a job, but especially harder if you have no educational background. You are only 21 sweetie! You are doing well, you are married and have a little family started. Set some goals for yourself, and stick with it. You will be happy with the results :)
    lilcutiepie2578

    Answer by lilcutiepie2578 at 9:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

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