Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Sounds wierd but should i feel guilty?

I have a one year old daughter and just married her father. When we started dating neither of used birth control which we were both very aware of. I for one really should stay away from it because i have horrible reaction to hormone changes. He knew this. I myself didnt really care about getting pregnant and wouldnt of minded it even though we weren't really "trying" just not rying not to lol. five months later i got pregnant. Should i feel guilty about this? I always feel bad even thought we are both very happy now. Am i being ridiculous for feeling this way?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Nov. 2, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (6)
  • nah..not two are 13 months apart..and i felt guilty for her having sooo little time as an only child. but it seems to have worked out well. i wasnt trying..i was on B/C but it happens!

    Answer by sunshine86912 at 11:37 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • I felt extremely guilty after we PURPOSELY had our second son when our first was already six years old. What are you most feeling guilty for? Having your second so soon after your first, or having another child in general without really planning it or being sure if you were ready? I know that once the new baby comes you will begin to integrate your children and make things all work out, so you shouldnt feel bad, especially when you think about the bond that number one will have with number two once number two gets older. I get crazy mood swings with hormonal shifts as well, just make sure you enjoy your time with your little one now, and everything will work out Momma!! no worries! Oh yeah, Congrats to you!!

    Answer by kirstanbrown at 11:46 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

  • If he knew that you weren't using birth control and he also wasn't doing anything to prevent a pregnancy from happening, you should definitely not feel guilty! I just read a question on here where the girl was talking about getting pregnant without letting her boyfriend know she was trying--- now if she does that, SHE should feel guilty. If the two of you weren't together & things had ended badly, I could understand you feeling badly, even though you would still have no reason to. The two of you are together and happy, and you have a child together.... nothing wrong with that!

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 12:14 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I think you feel guilty because you were not really careful and had a baby with a man you only had been seeing 5 months? Did I get the right idea of the question? I think that there is no reason for you to feel guilty. Had the dad been an idiot and ran off and left you stranded, then perhaps that would be different. But here you are, nearly 2 years after you got pregnant, and he is still there and you guys are all happy. Things happen for a reason!

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:17 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Me and my boyfriend started "not trying not to get pregnant" about 4 months after we met but it took almost 3 years before I actually got pregnant lol. I was starting to think one of us wasn't working right! But here we are now engaged 4 years into the relationship with a 3 month old. Be happy that it worked out! It could have gone totally in the opposite direction. I often wonder if I would have gotten pregnant soon if things would have been different because we didn't know each other then nearly as well as we do now. But as long as you two are happy and getting along and all is well then I see no problem. Just enjoy your family!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • No reason to feel guilty, like a PP said, things happen for a reason. Yes you got prego pretty quick into the relationship, but so what, it obviously worked out and now you have a happy family!

    Answer by jltorres87 at 9:38 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.