Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you feel stressed out and all alone at times even when your husband and kids are home?

We have been having alot of financial problems and all the bills are left up to me to fiquare out. My husband works and I'm a stay at home mom (his choice) because of my health problems. I have scoliosis (a curved spine) and if I stand very long or set one way to long my legs go numb and my neck hurts so bad that I can't hardly turn my head. My doctor I have now says it would all get better if I would just loose weight. I feel really alone and stressed out alot. I want to help my husband with the bills but got denied for disabilty because my doctor won't sign the papers for me. I have very little money each week to pay bills and I stress about what to pay and when to pay it , I ask my husband what he thinks I should pay and he gets mad and says if you can't fiquare it out than he will do it and I can go out and work. I go to look for work and he gets mad again and says you know you can't work. What can I do? Im going crazy!

Answer Question

Asked by SheriesMom at 7:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 12 (793 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think the reason you feel alone is that you and your husband are living independently of each other rather than functioning as a team. How you go about resolving that depends on many factors. Without knowing either of you, my suggestion would be that you simply calmly tell him that having to make all the financial decisions alone is too much pressure for you and that from now on, we will either sit down together to decide who gets paid and how much, or the bills will not be paid. If he agrees to do that, then you must hear what he says and make every attempt to go along with his suggestions. Many times, men give up on these situations because they have tried to have input, and their wives have determined that they know best. Men's egos are extremely fragile and if you have wounded your husband's, that could explain his hesitancy to participate with you. The goal is to share the load, so keep that in mind.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:02 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I'm sorry to hear this, I really am =( I know that must put you in a tough situation and cause alot of strain on your marriage. It sounds like your husband needs to figure out which side of the fence he is on and STAY there. Its not fair for him to want you to stay home because of your condition but then resent you for it because of the money issues. I think that it's total crap that your doctor isn't willing to sign paper work for you, he/she should know better than anyone how your condition affects you. My only suggestion I guess would be to try and find a part time job that requires very little activity. Keep your eye out for maybe a receptionist position, desk clerk, ect opening in your area. That way you can start bringing in a little cash and be able to stay off of your feet. Best wishes

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:03 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I agree with NannyB - the two of you aren't working toward the same goals.

    I have felt alone in the house, even with my family all there, and at those times, it's usually because I've set myself apart. That realization is often enough for me to stop and join them, rather than fuming because they aren't all coming to join me.

    Good luck with everything. Trying to tackle financial problems and weight loss, while also dealing with a painful medical condition can't be easy. If you make decisions every day that move you toward those goals, however, you'll eventually make progress. As my dad says, "The overnight success usually takes about 15 years."

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:33 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • We all have our moments...but I would get a new doctor. If you are truly having this much pain and trouble, they need to help in any way they can. So either keep knocking until you get the right medical help or assistance from the govt...or maybe just a part time job to help ease financial pain.

    Answer by salexander at 9:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I am really sorry you are hurting and you have to deal with so much stress. A lot of times I feel stress and alone, and I always try to see the positive side of my day but sometimes is really hard. This might sound out of place but I am looking for a partner to lose weight, if you are interesting message me and we can team up and try to help each other. I know we can't exercise together but we can at least cheer up each other. Good luck and looking forward to help each other. xoxo

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 11:25 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Sorry you feel that way. Sounds to me it's because you don't have the support from your husband that you want/need. Until you fix your relationship, all the other stresses in your life won't go away. Best of luck.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:36 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.