Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

need advice baddd!!!!

so my husband of 4 years left me 2 months ago..well in that 2 months i have fallen in love with another man...my husband now wants me back to work things out...and i said i might give him another chance for my kids....but i dont feel like i shoud get back with him just for the kids...what should i do...if i leave him for good then i am going to be 14 hours away from my kids..but i can see them when ever i want ....i just dont know what to do....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Your kids are living with your ex?
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 9:47 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • in just two months you are ready to give up on husband and see your kids sometimes

    is this new guy really worth that?
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:51 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • If the new guy in your life is prepared to take on your kids too (and there are some decent fellas out there that will), then is it possible to have your kids living with you. I had 4 kids with my ex and I would never try and work things out with him just for their sakes (things between me and the guy were just too bad for me to even consider it). My advice to you would be to write down the pro's and cons of your different options. That way you will have all the possibilities in black and white in front of you and then you will be more likely to see where your life would go with each possibility. Good luck.
    Creating78

    Answer by Creating78 at 9:52 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I think you should give your marriage and your children another chance. Having been married for almost 46 years, I can tell you that the investment will be well worth the effort. I would also remind you that problems in marriage are never 100% blameable on one spouse. The other spouse is always also a contributing factor. If you can approach it on the basis of part of the blame being yours, it will make it much easier for you to give your marriage another chance. If one spouse is taking advantange, it is most likely because the other has not well enough set and enforced boundaries. Learning how all this works can be extremely exciting and fulfilling. It will also help if you think back to the days when you knew your hubby was the man with whom you wanted to spend the rest of your life. That man is still there, and he needs you to help him to become the best man that he can be. What an awesome challenge that is.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:53 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • no matter how long u been seperated or if your thing about leaving your partner stay because ur happy with them u feel safe u care and feel respected by him if u feel unhappy u children will pick up on that what ever make u happy will make ur children happy becasue they see u happy dont rush into another relationship until u finished the book u started Everything is hard at first the children will be mad or upset and so will u but over time again if you are happy they will read off of you and know everything id alright I wish you the best :)
    chanchan522

    Answer by chanchan522 at 10:00 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • go with what your heart tells you.
    susieq46maine

    Answer by susieq46maine at 10:10 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I really do admire your courage! being in love with another guy two months after your ex left you? well, try to consider him cos of your kids,they need you.
    joysweet

    Answer by joysweet at 11:12 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I'd be questioning that "love" thing. I'm sure you thought you loved your dh and now you love this new guy? Not bashing, just saying take it slow. Follow your heart but let your kids know you still love them and you are not leaving THEM. Dad will get over you leaving but the kids will have a harder time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Are you picking a man over your kids? Hmmm let's see. Nope work it out and try dating you husband for a little while. You may find out that this new love is fake.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:07 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • DO NOT GO BACK WITH YOUR EX NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON! Ten year ago my husband kicked me to the curb. Within a month, I met a guy that treated me like a queen and then and only THEN, once he saw someone else interested in me did my ex want to get back with me. He started acting like the new Mister Wonderful was acting by getting me flowers, opening doors, trying to hug and kiss (my husband is NOT the affectionate type). Well, I dumped Mister Wonderful and went back to my husband because of this and for my daughter. Sure enough, within months he was back to being the ass that he is today. Now, one thing though, what do you mean your going to have to go 14 hours to see your kids? They live with your ex? Leaving your kids behind, now that I would not do for anyone. Have "your" new Mister Wonderful drive 14 hours to see you.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 12:41 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN