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Would you divorce your husband if he was your polar opposite?

I really care about my husband except for his mouth and mind. He tends to be very loud and overly critical of how I do things as well as how the girls do things. I on the other hand am quiet, feel that silence can be golden, and I access each situation before I insert a comment. I feel strongly that if I am guilty of a certain trait I am careful not to be critical of family members who have the same trait. He is not careful. I am unselfish and unconditional in my love for my girls, he feels that if he bought something for them they owe him labor.

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Suzette133

Asked by Suzette133 at 10:08 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I am having some of the same challenges and crossroads in my marriage. I just have to have faith that we can work our problems out. Have you tried talking about it with him, don't challenge him just let him know how you've been feeling and talk about it. I know sometimes that doesn't help, but it couldn't hurt. Communication is important. I feel that I'm going to give it my all and all before I even have thoughts about divorce. Thanks for posting. Glad to know I'm not alone, but so sorry you are having problems, too. God bless.
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 10:21 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • If he is that opposite of you then why did you marry him? Not to be mean, but there had to be reasons. Focus on those reasons. I doubt this personality trait popped up overnight.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 10:24 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Nope. My DH and I are just about as close to opposites as we can be and still both be human... But divorce has never once come up. If you love someone you can work through anything!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:40 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • well do you think you are ballancing each other or do you think he is pulling you down into negativity... if i though his effect on the family was all bad... then i would certainly leave him... if it was more of the case that i was the good cop and he was the bad cop, that would be livable to me.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:54 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I'm with SabrinaMBowen, if divorce has never come up then it's just part of dealing with different personalities in your life. Now, if you two hae discussed divorce because of this, then you have a major problem on your hands.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:21 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I am totally the opposite of my husband. He is out going and kind I am stay at home and don't mess with me. He gets frustrated with me as I do him. HOwever I would never divorce him. He makes my sun shine.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • My ex husband was my complete opposite. However, that wasn't why I divorced him.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Has he changed since you married him? Marriage means commitment - you went into it with your eyes wide open - I feel people turn to divorce way too often - you should really try to work it out and get professional help if you are seriously considering ending the marriage.
    Dew1

    Answer by Dew1 at 12:39 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I wouldn't divorce someone over it, but it would have been something I would have considered before getting married. Unless he's changed since you've been together in a way that you can't (or won't) handle, or has developed habits that are bad for the family, I would just continue to work on the relationship. Love isn't an emotion, its a constant commitment and choice. It takes work and compromise. Have you talked to him about how you feel? Perhaps he doesn't realize how critical he can be. I would suggest communication. :)
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 12:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Thank you to all who have answered! There are some really good answers. Yes we are all going to family therapy as the girls are no longer comfortable being alone with him due to his words of criticism. Yes, he did change about 9 years into our marriage once he was promoted from a store manager to a corporate manager. He started to want more and more from everyone and became critical of the simple life we were enjoying. I think he is trying to live up to the Jones, but I am happy with what we have at this point. Unfortunately my older daughter is starting to emulate wanting everything everyone has and thinking that it is acceptable to expect her wants to be met.
    Suzette133

    Comment by Suzette133 (original poster) at 10:27 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

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