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is it wrong to disipline your step child when they are use to gettig away with things

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mom2128

Asked by mom2128 at 10:40 AM on Nov. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • NOPE!! I have this problem. My step daughter is VERY sneaky. She's been getting away with things for a VERY LONG time now, but once I got in the picture I put an end to it. Well, she still tries the sneaky ways, but I'm ALWAYS catching her and she is always punished for one thing or another.

    I look at my step daughter as my own child, and she looks at me as her mother too. She knows when it comes down to it, I will find out about it, and I will punish her.

    (Probably the downfall of Dad getting a new wife. lol)
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 10:43 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Step parents should be involved in raising and disciplining a child, but they do need to come to an agreement with the biological parent about how it will be done.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:43 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • No, you're a Parent in their life, they should respect your rules, and home. If you don't they will learn to walk all over you, and then you're going to have bigger problems. You and your Husband need to be a united front, or they will use the both of you against each other. Be a Parent, and leave the step out, it will make your life so much easier.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • No, when she is in your home, she needs to follow and respect your rules....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • not at all. my husband is technically the step-parent to my oldest (although he's the only dad she's ever known since 6 months of age) and he is allowed to discipline her. we both agree on our parenting methods and it wouldn't be right and also send mixed signals if he were only allowed to discipline the two we made together and not her. we are one big family, not separate.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:51 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Not at all. Kid's need boundaries and parents need to set them. Your house, your rules.
    meriana

    Answer by meriana at 10:57 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • i have always thought it wasnt the step parent's job to do that - you should make their biological parents set the boundries and everyone inforce the same rules - now i know it isnt an ideal world .. but you dont want them to hate you as the evil step mom either. i guess i am just glad not to be in those shoes!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:58 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • i think that if you want to be involved in the disciplining, you should in private, tell the biological parent your thoughts but have the biological parents do the actual face to face disciplining with the child, because comming from a person who grew up with a stepfather and a stepmother - it makes things ALOT harder when the step parents want to be the real parents. i dont know if you grew up with step parents, but no matter what they do for you, your never going to think of them as your actual parents, and you dont want them to be telling you what to do so to just save everyone the greif, let the bio parent do it.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:15 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • It depends, if you usually have a mother/daughter relationship with her, then yes, it's okay. But if you're usually a total bitch to her and don't treat her as if she were your own, then you have no right to say one iota to her. I have that problem with my current husband, he's always been an asshole to my husband, I of course have always defended my son and have made it clear to my husband not to mess with him because this is absolutely the one place where he will definately lose. So every time my husband tries to put his two cents in about my son being lazy etc., I shut him up real quick.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:15 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Your house, your rules. Talk to your DH, establish the rules together, and sit the kids down and talk about expectations. If they won't listen to you, don't be left alone with them (I know that sounds harsh, but truly - they need to be respectful of you.)
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:16 AM on Nov. 12, 2010

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