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Do counselors really help?

Me and my guy have been having lots of problems in our relationship and are seeing a counselor this week. Do you think it will help at all? or is it a waste of time? Anyone have any experience with couples counseling?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Nov. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Yes I think they work if both you and your SO go in thinking they can help. If you're shut off to an idea it's doomed to failure before it even gets off the ground. Think positive and know that it proves something that both of you are willing to go to a counselor to try and make it work. It obviously means that you both care about one another enough to try and make it work. Counselors can give plenty of insight from a third party perspective and help to provide plenty of ideas for actions you two can try.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 12:27 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I agree with bubblycute- if you both are open to the idea of the counselor, you'll get the best use out of it. If you're closed minded to it before even going in you're doomed to fail.
    rlemde

    Answer by rlemde at 12:32 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • my ex and i tried married counsling. at first he was into it, then over time he kept missing appointments (they were in our home) and he quit taking advice from him. so ours failed. the only way it will work is if both of you are positive and both willing to make your marriage work.
    ta2danya

    Answer by ta2danya at 1:57 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • You have to both be committed to counseling. There is no way it will work otherwise. It's not going to be a quick fix, it takes time. If you feel like you're wasting time at any point of the sessions, please ask your counselor if he/she thinks you're making progress. A lot of times you may not feel like you're getting anywhere, but you really are.

    Best of luck!
    SkyeGirl

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 2:59 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • It depends on the counselor and upon how much both parties are willing to cede to the other.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:46 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • I've gone to a counselor with a couple different relationships. The counselors did help a lot, they helped us realize that we were not meant to be together. I am so happy I didn't end up with either of those guys!! the guy I have know is a gem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 AM on Nov. 3, 2008

  • Only if you are willing to work with them and honestly want things to change - including yourself. If you go in feeling like you're right, he's wrong, and you are bringing in a professional to tell him this, don't waste your time, their time or your money.

    An intelligent couple who ISN'T dedicated to fixing the relationship can be a counselors worst nightmare as they use the counselor as a professionally validated rock to throw at each other.
    Kestrel1

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 12:14 PM on Nov. 3, 2008

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