Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Husband can be a punk

My husband does nothing around the house and if I get behind in housework has an absolute fit. I mean bad, calling me lazy, yelling, getting on the kids because THEY don't help enough. In his eyes the household is the responsibility of everyone except him. When I ask him to stop the yelling or remind him that he is an adult and is every bit as capable of helping as a 6 and 8 year old he tells me that he'll stay home and do it all and I can go to work. This is a big smack to me because first of all, I do stay home, but I also WORK from home. I not only do all of the household stuff but all of the family stuff in general. If I were to clock hours on all of my responsibility it'd make him look like a lazy bum. Minus his temper flashes when the house is messy and ass headedness about helping out, he's fine in all other areas. Any suggestions on getting his ideals and temper under control?? :(

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • My husband did that when we were first married but one day I had had enough and I lost it. I started throwing things at him and yelling how I am not his f$$king maid. I didn't care how much the trash fell on the floor or the dishes piled in the sink or how he didn't have any clean clothes or food on the table and his kids could just run wild. I named everything I did for him. He was so shocked. I had never even complained before . He did listen up though but I still had to do most of the things but he never yelled at me again And as the years worn on, I was the sole support of the family while he was unemployed. that really changed his attitude.
    depressedmom65

    Answer by depressedmom65 at 1:11 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Other than taking care of the kids needs, stop doing all the rest...PERIOD! When he starts bitching and moaning ask him "let me see you left hand...okay...let me see your right hand...okay...well you have two perfectly good hands...do the shit yourself since I'm so useless to you!" And quietly walk away.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 1:12 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • That's a tough one. People usually don't change, just learn to appreciate the good things about him. If you spend all your time trying to get him to do stuff he's not going to do you're only going to frustrate yourself. If you don't get it done then oh well, and when he get's mad just ignore him and tell him the mess isn't going anywhere, it will still be there tomorrow for you to do. Good luck.
    momlee730

    Answer by momlee730 at 1:13 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • girl, I go on strike!! if he asks where his clean socks are etc?? say IDK where did YOU leave them?? we have been married 12 yrs and when my dh starts up I go on strike! usually just takes one NIGHT of cereal and he snaps back! lol
    texmexmom

    Answer by texmexmom at 1:22 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I am a full-time WAHM and one thing I did when my hubs would be a 'jerk' about the way I cleaned, or about stuff not getting done I had 'words' with him- I stood up to him and I told him point blank I am NOT his mommy, I am NOT his maid, and if he did not like how the house was cleaned then he could damned well shut his ##$% mouth and do it himself! I then went on 'strike' and I did nothing for him! I would do mine and the kids laundry, and his would be left sitting for him to do. I cooked foods I liked, and if he did not like it - too bad. I also got sick of him leaving things sit out and not putting them away (like his tools- he used them to put in our built in dishwasher and then left them to sit on the table.. for 4 days) so I bagged up all of his stuff and then I dumped it in his chair! He got the message... and he made it a point to help out more and criticize less. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:39 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Your husband is being emotionally abusive as well as immature.....he needs to get some help.....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • let him do his own stuff and i mean everything...You continue takeing care of the kids and yourself but let him do all his stuff and see if he likes that...sounds like a butt to me ...sorry
    littlekitty2002

    Answer by littlekitty2002 at 2:06 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I am in your boat. He works so I do not. I keep the house totally clean other wise I have to work and find a job. So he does nothing and even make the girls get him snack. I just clean and do it to keep the peace. He only yells when thing do not work out right if tring to fixing things. He will never change. My guess to you is do you love him, can you handle this, and what you want to do. For me I will not do this forever cause I know we will not be together forever. Either hang in there or get out. Men never really change. Mine will for awhile but then history repeats its self. I can say send me a friend invite cause in the same boat. I will be there for you. do what you have to do to make your life happy and when had enough let him know it. Hang it there.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 2:18 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • My first husband (father of my children)was like that. He started out being emotionally abusive then slowly turned physical. The next step was he would back me up against the wall to yell at me, then he'd push me, then throw me across the room into the furniture, then onto the floor...each time he got mad he would take another bigger step into the physical side..then over the years...it got so bad he tried to kill me. I called the police many many times, they viewed it as domestic & didnt want to get involved. I became the bad guy, for calling the cops, go figure. Crazy world we live in, how people judge. I finally divorced him but the story is insane. My advice dear is to find a work from home job or business to do so that you can support yourself and those children. It just might come in handy. Not saying that my situation will be yours but, it never hurts to be well rounded... Good Luck sweetie.
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 5:55 PM on Nov. 15, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN