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3 Bumps

Has anyone got a bi polar signigicant other that can help me get through this?

Its been a long few months, My Fiance is 27 and was diagnosed with add way back when like 8 yrs old, then depression and now the doctor says bi polar... he has seve mood swings, lies about stupid stuff and gets furious when i say something, he gets angry and has choked me spent time in jail and got his meds switched. there are days he knows he has a problem and days he denys the hell outta it.... Little things set him off like noise or too much going on... He has complete mood changes some days hes amazing others watch out, he walks out on jobs just because with no good answer and good jobs 12.40 an hr jobs. The doctor he was seeing switched to a new med and quit her job, he also sees a counsler "just recently" and needs to see a phsycatirst for meds "hasnt yet". Has anyone dealt with this? how do you do it? Iam pregnant with his baby and its a baby I was never supposed to beable to have I want to help him get better. how?

 
mememecassie

Asked by mememecassie at 4:27 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Health

Level 6 (115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • It is NEVER ok for someone to put thier hands on you! And bi-polar is no excuse! Having said that, he has to want to change. Second, he has to get a good psychiatrist (for medication), and a good counselor (some are terrible). A good one can see you too, and help you learn to deal with the extremes. Don't be angry or confrontational. If you need to calm down, go in separate rooms until you're calm, then continue the conversation. Usually learning a different way to talk about things helps, like saying " I really felt hurt when you..." etc. It's not easy, even with all the right knowledge. Hope it helps.
    Naturally01

    Answer by Naturally01 at 5:06 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • If this answers your question, I will NOT be in another relationship with a person who is Bipolar. That is a deal breaker for me. Thats how hard it is. Good Luck!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I'm bi-polar, my best friend is bi-polar, and one of my ex-boyfriends is bi-polar. We've all decided life is better when we are in control of ourselves. It sounds like your fiancĂ© is not ready to take control of himself and until he does he can't be considered anything but a danger to you and the baby.
    If he won't help himself, the only thing you can do is remove yourself from him and hope that the shock of that will force him to take a look at himself. It sounds like he's got a much more serious case than anyone I know as only my ex has ever taken his emotions out in acts of violence and NEVER against a woman. That, to me, is completely unacceptable and not to be blamed on his bi-polar disorder.
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 4:41 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I don't know how much of his problems are that he is bi-polar or something else. Bi-polar does not make a person lie, choke their pregnant fiance or quit jobs. Mood swings yes, even paranoia but not the rest. It's up to him to decide he wants to get better and seek help and work on how he handles his condition. I don't see how he could not be a danger to you and your baby. If he is not going to take responsibility for his problem, I'm sorry because I know it's tough but the only sensible thing to do is to leave so you and your baby can be safe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Sometimes IME bipolar people medicate with illegal drugs ,Then their life is a complete mess. You might want to figure out if he is using. He sounds like a person I wants knew.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • HERE IS SOME MORE ON THE QUESTION- he wants the help he made the apt for the meds hes on and the counsoling, the counsoler he is seeing is dealing with his past and current problems only he has only seen him a couple times but is continuing to see him and does see me from time to time to let me in it he is also a drug counsoler for 20 yrs, seeing he is smoking pot, but the counsoler says that it will help until he can be medicated correctly, he doesnt have any insurance at all... as for the choking me i UNDERSTAND that it is NOT ok and the reason he seeked help is because i told him help or baby and I go on with out you....
    mememecassie

    Comment by mememecassie (original poster) at 6:37 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I'm bipolar also. I have the same severe mood swings, get irritated easily, especially with loud noises and sounds. I have been to jail. He sounds like in addition to his treatment he could use some anger management. I went through group therapy and it was really very helpful. Bipolar people have a tendency to start and stop treatment frequently at times. They will get on meds, start to feel better, then stop and be back at square one. My dh has put up with a lot and I am thankful for that. Being physically abusive is NOT ok. That is not bipolar, but could be an underlying issue he needs to work out. To me, a group setting sounded really stupid, but it was very very helpful and I got more help from the people in there than i did from my counselor. Good luck to you both.
    MissAlisabeth

    Answer by MissAlisabeth at 9:24 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Really I should have been a little more clearer. The person I knew was more "normal" when he would take a few hits of marijuana, throughout the day then he was at any other time. I was mainly talking about other substance abuse, sorry. And the person I knew had other underlining issues. It was such a roller coaster ride.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

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