Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How can I stop being so upset about my little sister getting married, and be happy for her?

I have been with my man for 11 years now and engaged for about 4yrs. We have been planning our wedding for some time now, but something always happens to get in the way. For example a pregnancy and financial issues. Both of our families haven't said anything about helping out, so we have been doing everything our selves. So, now my little sister is engaged, which I am happy about, but she already has a date for this summer and I just got my save the date in the mail today. I am just getting really annoyed because every time I see my mom, she constantly brings up what my sister is doing for her wedding, and every time I talk about mine, she changes the subject. I didn't go to my sister's gown fitting last month, because I thought I would be upset and didn't want to ruin it for her. I can't help but to be jealous. Especially knowing that her soon to be father in law gave them 20 grand to spend. HELP! HOW CAN I STOP BEING JEALOUS

Answer Question
 
RubyBlue82

Asked by RubyBlue82 at 6:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,121 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't think the idea is for you to stop being jealous, but for you to not let that jealousy turn you into an unpleasant person.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 6:22 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Are you happy with your man?If so what matters is he loves you and you love him.You might want to talk to your mom though,on why she doesn't want to talk about your wedding.Or why she isn't happy for you.
    20 grand wow it must be nice lol,but really I could fined something better than a wedding for that kind of money. lol
    Our wedding was no more than a thousand with my dress.I loved it,I did have family to help me though.I don't no what to say just be happy that your sister doesn't have to do it the hard way.Good luck and congrats!! to your wedding
    bucky77

    Answer by bucky77 at 6:30 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • With money comes power and power comes control. I wouldn't be jealous of someone marrying in to a family who might try to control me. Just enjoy your life. You have no idea what she will have to go through.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I also forgot to mention, that we wanted to plan a wedding for the spring, but my sister said that I wasn't being fair because it would steal her spot light. She also wanted to use my girls as her flower girls. I told her I didn't mind as long as they were in mine first because after all, they are our kids, and the first wedding they should be apart of, is ours. I thought it would be nice to plan our weddings together, share different ideas and help each other, but now I have to change my colors since she wants to use them now as well. With all this tension between us, I am not in the spirit any more and feel like post poning our wedding until next year.Every time someone mentions Ashley's wedding, I just cringe. I am not a selfish person and have never been in a fight with my sister since we have been adults. I don't even think she really knows how I feel about this and I feel bad that I feel this way.
    RubyBlue82

    Comment by RubyBlue82 (original poster) at 7:08 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Honey, I don't see how having your wedding first would ruin the spotlight for her $20k wedding. BUT I don't think you should rush for spring just to be first. i also don't think your jealousy has anything to do with your sister.... it has everything to do with how long you are waiting.

    Really, a wedding doesn't have anything to do with money. Stop waiting until you have enough money, because that's not the point. It's great for those people who have alot of money for a wedding day, but the point is really the marriage.

    My suggestion to you - consider it..... Have a small private ceremony and lovely dinner party before the end of the year, and marry the love of your life. then kick back and help your sister do her wedding her way, knwoing you did get married first and you are happy :)
    .science.mom.

    Answer by .science.mom. at 7:47 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • that is a big turn off for people stop acting like that and be happy for your sister is not her fault you basically been engaged forever it is not about money its about both of you loving eachother why spend al that money when your can use it for more important
    gianna530

    Answer by gianna530 at 8:33 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • I can understand your frustration. I think I would be too. But........ we are grown ups now and this is your sisters special day that she has dreamed about all her life. Be there for her...just for that day. It is not about you on her wedding day. I believe yours will come. Marriage is not about how big your wedding is. It is something much more special and meaningful. So share with her what you know about love, and family, and give her your blessings. You will come out feeling so much better about the entire thing. Be strong. :) When you are ready, plan your wedding for the right reasons...and she will most likely be there for you too. Giving is so much more fulfilling. :)
    Momforhealth

    Answer by Momforhealth at 9:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • just be happy for her because she willbe able to tell that u are jealous. just be thankful u have a man who has been in your life for 11 years. hopefully he has been good to u the whole time.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 12:17 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.