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How would you deal with this?

Years back I met a man with 2 kids now we have 2 kids the reason I fell in love was bc he was so much involved in my life how was my car running didn't like where I lived at the time I can go on and on but most of all I loved the way he loved and cared about his kids and I know made a good choice...but the bad thing about this is we have been paying c/s and everytime my dh spends money the BM doesn't give them money or makes payments on their acct for lunch she is taking advantage of him. I don't care he spends money on his kids those are his kids he is suppose to do all that he can for them. I just don't like the way she goes about it she knows damn well we have a life too but she just lets it slide like oh welll since u already paid I'll just pocket the money she is suppose to use that money for them not for her to do whatever with just doesn't make sense to me. I always make my kids have money in their acct..venting

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • What does she spend the money on? My ex pays me child support, it goes to helping pay the bills (rent, electricity, food ect) plus I use some of it to buy some of her clothes.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:18 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Child support is not just for buying things for the kids. Like the PP stated, it goes towards bills and food and clothes and shoes and childcare.
    If he buys them other things, he shouldn't expect to be reimbursed all the time.
    Now the lunch thing I do have a problem with. That is part of the up keep of the kids. She should be putting money in that account. Maybe if they don't have money in the account, he can say that he will provide them with emergeny food that they can take with them, maybe one of those Tuna lunch kits or something that won't spoil, but if he keeps putting money in that account, she has no incentive to do it herself.

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:28 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • OP here: Oh your a good exwife I am sure she does that too but when she knows my dh gives the kids money or pays on their acct for lunch she doesn't put nothing in. I mean this is coming from his heart and she knows this she does like to party let the kids do what they want I mean it a long story. I just wish she ws like you :)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:30 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • @layh41407 he does not expect nothing in return (never) but he feels bad when the kids lunch acct is low and she hasn't put nothing in it so he feels as their father he has to make a deposit which is fine but WHY must she be this way I don't get it every pay day I make sure our kids have money in their acct. and at the same time I check my sk as well and sometimes they are down to 0.00 dollars :(
    and that is sad that is when we make our deposit. Oh and you can't talk to her bc she'll say oh your complaining I'll just take you back for more money...ugh!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:36 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • Do you love him? Do you love your stepkids? Then let it go. You can't control her, her actions or thoughts - you can control yourself. If you love him & those kids, then let it go. When they need money in the account, put it in. When they need new shoes - buy them. It is not fair, but there is no such thing as universal fairness and frankly, you love him because he is a good person - don't wish for that to change because his ex-wife is ignorant. All that anger, will just harm you in the long wrong - just let it go. Know that she is foolish but you married a good man & sometimes that isn't easy, but dang how lucky are you to have a man that always puts the people he loves first? Good Luck to you!

    Answer by MomIWant at 10:13 AM on Nov. 13, 2010

  • I think she is doing it just because she knows it will get to you. Don't give her that power.

    Answer by Shelbegto at 2:32 AM on Nov. 15, 2010

  • she is doing it because she knows your dh will fill up the account......if you realy want it to stop go back to court and change the cs order to include the lunch thing other than that she can spend cs on the things SHE thinks your kids need ....sorry good luck

    Answer by cara124 at 12:03 PM on Nov. 22, 2010

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