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Can I ever make my friends unerstand this or should I just give up?

Okay I really need some other mom's perspectives here.

I have two friend's, one I have been friend's with for about 24 years and the other 16 years. These friends were in my wedding and we have always been close even after I got married and had a baby and they stayed single and without kids. Anyway since I had my second daughter we have drifted apart because they like to party and go out a lot and well I don't/can't. So one of them (who pretty much speaks for both of them since they are inseperable) wrote me an email about why we aren't really talking anymore stating I had a "seeming unhealthy" relationship with my kids. They think this because my youngest was incredibly clingy (to the point I had to get a job so she would get used to being with my husband). From the time she was 3 months until she turned a year anytime I left her with anyone except my husband she would cry hysterically for hours, no one wanted to..


Asked by lilysmom2607 at 7:46 PM on Nov. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,406 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • When I do the math I realize these ladies should be old enough to talk with in a mature way. If they will not try to understand your position then put the friendship up on the shelf for awhile. They may catch up later and need you. As far as your daughter clinging this is perfectly natural. The first year of life is spent developing trust with the primary caregiver. If it does not develop properly it can cause trust issues later in life; Sounds like you are doing a superb job.

    Answer by KISS1224 at 8:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • From what I have read so far, I say what they said can be interpreted "You spend too much time with your kids"
    That is really selfish. My non parent friends know that I love them and I will see her when I can. She is always welcome to see me with my kids, but I don't get away from kiddos often.
    Talk to them and dump them if this is true.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 7:52 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • i would give up on their friendship... it sounds like they won't understand your situation and those aren't people i call friends.

    Answer by babymar at 7:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • wanted to watch her (sometimes she would cry hysterically for my husband too). I didn't ever want to leave her because she cried so much. Now that she is a year she is fine to be away from me and I am fine to leave her every once in awhile but since I don't want to go out a lot my friends still think I am too attatched. This is a huge problem for us, I just don't know if I can still be friends with them but I don't know if I want to end a very long relationship either. Sorry this long.

    Comment by lilysmom2607 (original poster) at 7:52 PM on Nov. 12, 2010

  • You do not have to give up on the friendships, just realize that it is different now. They will probably catch up with you eventually.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:58 PM on Nov. 12, 2010